Saturday, June 2, 2012

Bullshit Building 3: New South China Mall

Source: Dongguan Today
People in US think that the Chinese are stereotypically very smart.

People in Indonesia think that the Chinese are stereotypically very business savvy. 

I am pretty sure that somewhere in China, before 2005, the Chinese elites screamed "CURSED THOSE FOREIGN BARBARIANS!! How dare they give us some stereotype!"

After they screamed, they gathered and start to discuss it. I think that somehow, sometime during the discussion, someone suddenly hit the table very hard, surprising others, and shouted "I know, A BULLSHIT MALL will show them!!"

Thus the "New South China Mall" project was begun.

The Beginning
Meanwhile, everybody is talking about China. Its economic, its company, its military power, its soft power, all growing. Lee Kuan Yew from Singapore even stated "This is not another big player. This is the biggest player in history!"

"Thanks for the help Mr. Lee!" thought the conspirators sarcastically. 

It's only normal when the biggest player thinks very big. They aren't satisfied with a mere shopping mall. They need a shopping mall so large that it will have its own gravity. They need a bullshit mall! Most people don't realize that this is not a vanity project. This is a very calculated project, disguised as a vanity project!

First, they need to choose where to build it.

There are 3 most important things in real estate:
  1. Location
  2. Location
  3. Location
I am sure the developer intentionally screwed up all 3 most important things in their business in one move because of the order from the "stereotype fighters-conspirators". They choose to build the hyper-gigantic-mall in the suburb of Dongguan, a city with neither airport nor highway, making sure the majority of the people won't be able to reach the mall.

The Design
What about the design? As you could see from the next pictures, the mall is not only very huge but also spectacular. We are speaking not only about a large mall, but the largest mall in the world!

The mall is peppered with miniatures of famous monuments like 25 m (82 ft) tall Arc de Triomphe, a 2,1 km (1,3 mile) Venetian canals complete with Gondola, the replica of Venice's St Mark's Bell Tower, etc.

Pretty stuffs. Unfortunately, it is 95% empty. No shops, no shoppers. Just the eerie wind between its long corridors ... and security guards who will harass anyone who try to document this mall.

As you can see, the largest mall in the world is also the emptiest mall, making it the eeriest mall too. This emptiness is the norm from its opening in 2005, until today (2012).

The mall attracts some people: people who want to see the vanity project. People who want to experience the eerie feeling of walking in the middle of a ghost town. Journalists or economists who ar researching "China bubble" etc. Of course you will got some thrill when you try to document this mall without permit because you need to avoid the security there. No other mall has such "cult following" since this mall is so unique! Hey, they say unique branding is one of the best business strategy, looks like this mall managed to do that!.

The End(??)
So let's recap this project.
  1. Spend tons of money? NATURALLY!
  2. Build a spectacular scene? OF COURSE!
  3. No one open any shop in the mall? HELL YEAH!
  4. No one visit the mall other than curious people who want to experience the bullshit? JACKPOT!
  5. Everyone think this mall is a colossal bullshit? MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
I bet until today the committee who want to erase the stereotypes has an annual meeting to celebrate the success of their project. Now, NOBODY would give that stereotype to the Chinese again!! Not after such vanity project!

Except when actually, people still believe that stereotype ...

So how could they top this ... hmm ... if a bullshit mall is not enough ... how about ... BULLSHIT CITIES!!

That is another story ...

Previous bullshit building: Every Single House in "Pantai Mutiara"
Next bullshit building: Welthauptstadt Germania

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