Homage to The Expendables 2

The first Expendables is not a bad movie. My score for that is 70 out of 100. Yes, it was a badass movie, but the action was not really that intense or much. Yes, the cameo of Schwarzenegger and Willis was awesome, but it was really short.

Nevertheless, I admitted that the concept is cool. That's why I was excited when I heard they were making its sequel.

Stallone definitely read the critics of his first work. After the first one, he definitely could identify the weakness and shortcomings. That's why I had high expectation for the sequel. My expectation became higher and higher when I heard Schwarzenegger & Willis would expand their role, JCVD was casted as the main antagonist, Chuck Norris would have a role etc. My expectation was sky-high. 

Then I watched the movie.

HALLE-FUCKIN-LUYA, WHAT A RIDE!! If my expectation was sky-high, the real deal is Mars-high!!

The Good

Here is the deal, the first 20 minutes IS THE BEST ACTION SCENE EVER!! Armored cars crashing through the bad guys fortress, mooks blown up by .50 machine gun, Jet Li busts heads, etc. I am in heaven. Really. I am REALLY in heaven. I don't mind to pay DOUBLE the ticket price, watch the first 20 minutes, and watching Stallone, Statham, Lundgren, etc. knitting some socks until the end credit. 

Of course that is not the case. After that mega-awesome first scene, we see the main story where the Expendables kicked tons of asses. By the way, none of the women in this movie are pussies. NONE! Even the villagers gripped their guns and make a stand!! THAT my friend ... is only the tip of the manlyness of this movie. 

Here is another one, we also see Chuck-fuckin-Norris wiped out an entire army single-handedly. That is what happened to ANYONE who piss Chuck Norris. Even Stallone, Lundgren, and their gangs looked in awe when the manliest man on earth walk toward them.

And finally, we also watch Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, and Norris blasted the bad guys together in the final battle. I swear, during that scene, some of the audience's vein were busted because too much blood pumping to their dick!! The men who bring their wife or girlfriend to the theater instantly start going to the business of making new children, and their women screamed Norris' or Stallone's or Schwarzenegger's name, making their men even more energetic!! And I also swear that the cleanladies already sighing and muttered "Here we go again ..." 

YES, this movie is THAT manly.

The Bad

Many will pointed out the plot is too cliché. Hey smartass, YOU MISS THE POINT!! This is the movie about manly men kick ass, not about oscar-winning story!

I really don't give a damn about the bad thinks in this movie, instead in this section I will praise Jean Claude Van Damme FANTASTIC performance as the antagonist, Jean Vilain. He is so badass, he even wear sunglasses INSIDE a cave! He is so badass, that his cliché name is making him even more badass! He is so badass that he kicked the ass of some of the audiences, including mine! His kick is so hard that I lunged from my sit 4 rows ahead. That is an honor ... a great honor.

Scott Adkins also played an excellent "dragon" for Van Dammes "big bad." Many complained that Adkins' character was not needed. Naaah, a good big bad always has at least one loyal and badass dragon.

The Ugly

Gone are "the man with pretty face" which are the norm of modern films. 

Here we got action movie where the manly men doesn't need to be a vampire, or bitten by a mutant spider, or any other BS like we got in modern films. The men's faces are violent, tough, brutal. Aaah ... after the pussification of culture with craps like "Eat Pray Love" or "Twilight" or "Spiderman Trilogy" FINALLY we got the antidote strong enough to reclaim the manlyness of the silver screen!

Maybe you could argue that Liam Hermsworth is a pretty-boy. Hey, he is THE ONLY ONE in this movie, but he is NOT the main character, he admit that the ass-kicking life is not for him, and finally ... JCVD fixed that for us! 

My favorite line:

Schwarzenegger during the final battle: Who's next? RAMBO?

Final Verdict:

100 out of 100. All of the weakness of this movie are irrelevant trivias. This movie kicked serious ass! Don't watch this movie if you are a wimpy pussy who cringed and cry like a baby when some heads were blown and blood were splattered! Now, I can't say it politely since this is too important to be shrouded by political correctness, what I want to say to any male who dislike this movie is FUCK YOU! You are a disgrace to your fellow man!