Affirmative Action and Quotas in Germany

Germany rejects Affirmative action. Their parliament refuse to put women quota on German's companies. Hurra! i already pointed out that affirmative action is sexist, racist, wrong, and in the end benefit no one, not even the women or the minorities or whomever its target group. In fact, it denigrates those target groups, since it assumes they can't be successful without any forceful intervention from the government. 

That's why the Deutsche Welle article that reports it baffled me. Sorry, "report" is not a correct word. "Feminist propaganda" is more appropriate. So, let's get started! Here are 2 most important points in that article that really annoys me.

First, these sentences: 
"Pohl admits that a quota is senseless, because it would not do justice to women and may even create new injustices. "But as long as we have no other instrument to solve the inequalities that still exist, it is unfortunately the only instrument that will work.""

Huh? Those sentences contradict each other. The first one validated my opinion. But, this Pohl suddenly change his mind. It is like saying "Racism is morally wrong, and economically unsound. It costs the society not only its moral high ground, but also its money. But since it is acceptable and beneficial for the society, we will use it."

Now, let's talk about "instrument to get gender equality." Hey, here is an idea, what about letting the women prove their capability in the company that decide to hire them WITHOUT quota, WITHOUT affirmative action? I am 100% sure many women can kick ass, they will prove to the whole world that misogyny is just stupid, detrimental, and above all ... expensive.

Second, we have this gem:
"Critics claim a women's quota "promotes mediocrity" and represents "an economic risk for the company." Sociology professor Heather Hofmeister says this argument is an indication of open misogyny: one can't just say that the female half of the population is less capable than the male, and Germany's good economic shape cannot be explained by the fact that its companies are almost exclusively run by men.""

Okay, here Hofmeister is just being sexist. Or dishonest.

"Women's quota promotes mediocrity and represent an economic risk" NOT because of the assumption that "all women are less capable than man." That is simply a strawman attack.

Gender equality is about moving BEYOND gender dichotomy. It is an idea that an individual gender has nothing to do with their competence. It is an idea that meritocracy is supreme, far above gender dichotomy. 

Look, let's just get real about those management positions, shall we?
Many women are more capable than many men.
Many men also more capable than many women.
A woman quota will advantage less competent women over a more competent men. It is a form of sexism, discrimination against men, not eradication of racism. The possibility that an incompetent women will be accepted ONLY because of her XX chromosome escaped Hofmeister entirely. I thought we are all about gender equality? Silly me, many feminist, leftist, etc just want to discriminate male, and starting the matriarch.

Let's just stop discriminating anyone just because she got a vagina. Don't start discriminate anyone just because he got a penis. Why it is so hard and complicated? Oh yeah, because according to many people, equality is not the issue. DOMINATION is actually the issue. Because according to certain ideology, two wrongs makes a right, and women has the right to dominate men. Silly me.

Homage to the Best Guerilla General

From Bundesarchiv

Let's start this article with a pop quiz: who do you think deserved to be called "the best guerilla leader"? I bet most of you answer with Mao Zedong from China, Vo Nguyen Giap from Vietnam, or the more romantic Che Guevara from Argentina.

Nope. They can't hold the candle to my choice: Paul Emil von Lettow-Vorbeck (1870-1964). I am sure most of you are baffled by that name, since most history curriculum sucks. So, let me inform you about the awesomeness of this badass.

Conventional War

He was born in Saarland, Germany, 20th of March 1870. He became an Imperial Germany officers and was send to German's East Africa colony, today's Tanzania. Then the first World War begun. He knew his position sucks, since the British, France, Belgium, and Portuguese colonies surrounded his territory. The governor tried to appease the Allies by trying to be neutral. Wimp. Lettow-Vorbeck had none of this and prepared his troops.

When the British forces attacked the busy port of Tanga, he kicked their ass so hard that local bees even supported him! This happened despite the fact that British forces outnumbered the Germans 8 to 1, and they also out-gunned the Germans, since only after this battle Lettow-Vorbeck managed to arm his African troops with modern rifles.

After Tanga, Lettow-Vorbeck kicked the British' arse again in Jassin. But he was aware that his inferior number would make conventional warfare unsustainable.

The Guerrilla

He switched gear and started recruiting more African soldiers, and surprise, surprise, African officers! He even proclaimed that "We are all Africans here"! As we shall see decades later, this act of egalitarianism was not based only on pragmatism.

Back to the military aspect. His plan was simple: tied up as many Allied soldiers as possible. He made sure that the Allied couldn't ignore him ... by raiding the Allies' forts, railways, and anything that matters. The Allies upped the ante, sending their badass, J.C. Smuts to lead the counter-guerrilla operation. Important note here: Smuts was also a master guerrilla too. Previously, he had lead Boer Commandos against the British in the Boer War. Lettow-Vorbeck was up to the challenge. 

Even after Smuts takeover the British command, Lettow-Vorbeck kept alluded their forces ... and kicked their ass everytime they met. Seriously, this bad-ass turned his entire army into nomadic brigands, and started a strategic withdrawal, while humiliating the Allies in every encounter. 

There is a military adage: "Amateurs speak about strategy, masters speak about logistics." The worst obstacle for Lettow-Vorbeck was exactly that: logistic. His solution: kicked the enemies' ass, and take their ammos, medicines, and foods. 

There is also another apocryphal story about Frederick the great, I believe. When one general praised him as "the best general of all time," he shot him down by saying "not exactly. I have never been tested by a strategic withdrawal." Amen. Being attacked, harassed, and surrounded by overwhelming enemy is indeed a litmus test for the quality of a general. In Lettow-Vorbeck case, maybe it was similar to Rorschach situation in the jail. Even though outnumbered and outgunned, he was the one who truly harassed the Allies, not vice versa.

In the end, Lettow-Vorbeck surrendered at 28.09.1918 because of the armistice in Europe. He was still undefeated at that time. If the war were continued, it is believed that he could manage to reach friendly territories, achieving strategic victory. Damn, he can easily get the title "The Best German General" too!

Post 1st World War

But WAIT! His bad-assery was not over yet!

He was so badass that Jan Smuts befriended him once the war is over.

He also refused to participate in politics, and heavily distrusted Hitler and his Nazi party. Remember when I said that he is an egalitarian? Looks like that was one of his reason. 

Amazingly, Hitler offered him an ambassadorial position. Lettow-Vorbeck reaction? He said "Go fuck yourself" to der Führer. Oh sorry, according to his nephew, he was NOT that polite. Yes, he insulted der Führer with the worst words imaginable and still alive! The Führer put his house under surveillance and throw other b.s. to him, but he is so badass that Hitler didn't dare to jail or kill him. If that is not an example of bad-assery, I don't know what is.

Menerima Kekalahan

Saya teringat saat dimana timnas Jerman tersingkir dari Piala Eropa 2012. Karena saya tinggal di Jerman, saya bisa melihat kekecewaan di wajah orang² Jerman saat itu. Suasananya begitu kontras dibandingkan saat Jerman mengalahkan Yunani, Denmark, Belanda, dan Portugal. Tidak ada pekikan kemenangan, tidak ada suara klakson ber-tubi², tidak ada pengibaran bendera oleh rakyat Jerman.

Namun bukan hal² itu saja yang tak ada. Tak ada juga yang mengumpat Italia. Bahkan banyak di antara mereka yang sudah bisa tertawa lagi sambil membahas kekalahan tsb. Bahkan ketika ada sebuah mobil berisi beberapa pendukung timnas Italia meneriakkan yel² kemenangan, mereka masih tersenyum dan melambaikan tangan ke arah para pendukung tim lawan tsb. Ketika sebuah mobil melaju kencang melewati pusat kota sambil menyuarakan kegembiraan, para pendukung Jerman cuma tertawa dan bilang "Pasti itu orang italia!" Mereka dengan besar hati menerima kekalahan.

Hal yang sama terjadi 2 tahun lalu saat timnas Jerman dikalahkan timnas Spanyol di semifinal piala dunia 2010. 

Hal yang sama terjadi setiap kali ada Pemilu.

Semoga saja hal serupa bisa dilakukan oleh para pendukung Foke-Nara. Menerima kekalahan adalah bagian dari kehidupan yang sehat. Jangan sampai para pendukung Foke mempermalukan diri mereka sendiri misalnya dengan menyumpahi datangnya bencana. Apalagi Foke sendiri kali ini berbesar hati dan sudah memberikan selamat pada Jokowi.

Selamat pada Jokowi-Ahok atas kemenangannya! Ini adalah awal baru untuk Jakarta.

Orang Indonesia dan Makanan di Jerman

Tak lama setelah saya tiba di Jerman untuk pertama kali, saya mendengar stereotip orang Indonesia:

"Setelah 20 menit mengobrol, PASTI orang Indonesia mulai membicarakan makanan/minuman!"

Saya tertawa waktu itu karena yang menyatakan hal itu adalah orang Indonesia juga ... dan saya juga setuju. Orang² Indonesia amat menikmati makanan dan minuman. Jauh dari Indonesia, makanan di Jerman tentu saja SANGAT berbeda dengan makanan dari Indonesia. Tentu saja ini adalah bahan obrolan yang seru buat orang² Indonesia yang di Jerman! Ada beberapa hal yang menarik buat saya ...

Yang dikeluhkan oleh BANYAK orang Indonesia tapi tidak masalah buat saya:

1) Sambal!

Buat mayoritas orang Indonesia: bawa sambal ABC banyak² kalau kalian ingin tinggal di Jerman untuk waktu yg lama. Sambal yang paling umum dijual di Jerman adalah sambal Thailand Sriracha, dan "Sambal Oelek" yang tidak pedas sama sekali. Saya tak pernah suka sambal jadi saya tak masalah dengan hal ini.

2) Nasi!

Kita masih bisa membeli nasi di restoran Asia. Beras juga banyak dijual di toko Asia. Mereka bahkan menjual rice cooker. Namun, fakta bahwa mayoritas restoran di Jerman tidak menjual nasi benar² mengganggu banyak orang Indonesia. Dan kantin universitas juga tak menolong. Kalaupun ada nasi, biasanya mereka menjual nasi pera/buyar. Saya sih gak masalah. Saya dari dulu doyan kentang dan roti. 

3) Makanan Halal!

Setahu saya cuma restoran Turki, yang menjual kebab dan falafel, yang halal. Untungnya, di setiap pengkolan, minimal ada 1 restoran Turki. Tapi tetap saja, bosankan kalau makannya kebab terus? Sedikit variasi bisa didapat dengan memesan makanan vegetarian di restoran non-Turki, tapi tetap saja ini masih mengganggu orang² Muslim. Lebih mengganggu lagi, makanan tradisional Jerman itu mayoritas menggunakan daging babi.

4) Susu!
Para penggemar produk susu: Jerman adalah surga. Susu cair, keju, mentega, dan produk² susu lainnya lebih murah daripada di Indonesia. Saya adalah salah 1 penggemar susu, jadi saya sih luar biasa gembira. Orang² Indonesia yang tidak suka susu atau produknya takkan bisa menikmati semua ini.

Yang bermasalah buat saya dan orang Indonesia kebanyakan: 

1) Garpu & pisau!
Kalau ke restoran, atau kantin, atau kedai, perlengkapan standard mereka adalah garpu dan pisau. OK, tentu saja ini masuk akal. Sulit memakan Schnitzel dengan sendok dan garpu, apalagi kalau Schnitzel tsb tebal. Anehnya, kenapa restoran Asia mereka juga standardnya adalah garpu dan pisau? Yup, orang² Jerman mencoba menyuap nasi menggunakan garpu. Tidak terima kasih, saya makan Schnitzel dengan garpu dan pisau, dan nasi goreng dengan sendok dan garpu. Tak tertarik belajar sebaliknya.

2) Alkohol!
Ini dia yang mengganggu saya, setiap kali diajak minum, saya selalu memesan jus atau cola. Setelah 2-3 kali, orang² mulai bertanya kenapa saya tak pernah  memesan alkohol. Biasanya mereka langsung mengasumsikan alasannya adalah alasan agama, dan saya adalah seorang Muslim. Err ... alkohol itu berisiko tinggi adalah fakta, bukan opini, tak ada hubungannya dengan iman agama. Maaf, hidup sudah dipenuhi banyak risiko yang mau tak mau diambil. Untuk apa mengambil risiko yg tak perlu? Jadi buat para Muslim, tenang saja, stereotip Muslim itu TIDAK SELALU negatif kok. Ada stereotip yang positif juga!

3) Masakan Indonesia ala Jerman!

Waktu saya melakukan magang di sebuah pabrik di Jerman tengah, kantin pabrik tsb mendadak memasak "Nasi goreng ala Indonesia"! Supervisor saya antusias mencobanya dan dia bilang nasi goreng tsb enak! Saya sih langsung bilang: "Menarik ... tapi tidak ada nasi goreng di Indonesia yang rasanya tidak jelas seperti ini." Di kesempatan lain, di sebuah restoran Asia, teman saya memesan gado-gado. Waktu gado² tsb datang, saya langsung tertawa keras. Baru kali itu saya melihat ada gado² dg saus mengepul panas dan diatas saus tsb ada dada ayam yang digoreng tepung! Intinya: jangan terlalu berharap mendapatkan makanan Indonesia otentik di Jerman. Mungkin rasanya lebih mirip kalau masakan tsb disajikan di restoran Indonesia, tapi saya sih tak tertarik mencobanya karena ...

4) Restoran Indonesia!
10 tahun yang lalu, saya melihat sebuah restoran Indonesia di Bremen. Saya kehilangan napsu setelah melihat harganya di foto yang ada di etalasenya: 10 tusuk sate ayam seharga 10 Euro. Sate ayam yang ada di gambar tidak besar, ukurannya sama dg sate ayam yang dijual tukang sate di dekat lampu merah di Indonesia. Bukan cuma sate ayam. Sayur asem di restoran itu harganya 6 Euro. Harap diingat, harga² itu adalah harga 10 tahun yang lalu. Oh iya, gado² yang sebelumnya saya singgung itu harganya lebih dari 7 Euro. Alamak ... tidak trims, lebih baik 6 - 10 Euro itu saya gunakan untuk beli 2 - 3 kebab ...

5) Mie di restoran!
Saya sudah mencoba berbagai jenis mie di restoran² Asia di Jerman. Semuanya TAK ENAK. Antara warnanya kuning menyala seperti dicat, atau digoreng dg terlalu banyak minyak dan kecap! Saya belum pernah mencoba memasak mie telor yang dijual di supermarket Jerman, jadi mungkin saja bukan selalu salah mienya tapi salah cara memasak dan bumbunya.


Yang mengagetkan saya:
1) Babi panggang garing!
Tahu babi panggang asin-garing di nasi campur Cina? Salah 1 masakan tradisional Bayern/Bavaria adalah babi panggang seperti itu dg saus kental berwarna coklat. Alamak ... memang babi yg dipanggang sampai kulitnya garing itu begitu enaknya sampai² jarak ribuan kilometer dan perbedaan budaya yang begitu kontras tidak menghalangi orang Bayern dan Cina menciptakan masakan ini! 

2) Restoran Asia!
Restoran Asia di Jerman itu bisa ditebak banget. Makanannya itu variasi dari hal² ini ...

Pertama dagingnya: daging ayam/babi/sapi dipotong kecil² ATAU dada ayam/babi/cumi/ikan digoreng tepung ATAU bebek goreng garing.
Kedua sausnya: saus kari ATAU asam manis ATAU "saus Cina" (warnanya hitam tapi bukan dari kecap manis). Tips: buat para penderita diabetes, JAUHI saus² ini. Sungguh, ini tips dari dokter loh. 
Ketiga sayurnya sudah pasti: ketimun, paprika, nanas, rebung, kol, dan bawang bombai.
Terakhir, pendampingnya: nasi ATAU mie goreng.

Yup, itu dia "makanan asia" ala Jerman, variasikan saja 4 hal itu. Biasanya di meja depan restoran Asia tsb, para pelanggan bisa melihat mereka sudah siap dengan minimal 2 saus, sayur²annya, mie gorengnya, lalu terakhir dagingnya mereka ambil dari kulkas.

Apa mengejutkannya? SAYA SUKA MAKANAN INI!! Ketika saya pulang ke Indonesia, ada kalanya saya KANGEN pada makanan ini!!

3) Kecap manis!
Sekarang di supermarket² Jerman banyak yang menjual bumbu² Asia. Namun saya sempat tertipu dengan kecap manisnya. Apalagi beberapa bahkan labelnya bertuliskan "ketjap manis." Nope, ini bukan kecap ABC atau kecap Bango yg saya kenal. Ini kecap encer yang terasa manis.


Tentu saja, tidak heran banyak orang Indonesia setelah beberapa bulan di Jerman KANGEN pada makanan² Indonesia. Nope, saya sih tidak kangen seperti mereka. Saya tahu ketika saya di Indonesia, saya juga kangen pada makanan Jerman, bahkan pada makanan Asianya yang tak jelas. jadi, saya sih menikmati saja makanan yg ada di jerman, gak usah kangen²an.

Bullshit Building 4: Welthauptstadt Germania

Adolf Hitler was never the man who think small. Arguably, he always think with delusion of grandeur. So, it is obvious he had some plan to build some bullshit buildings.

The Beginning

We all know that Hitler was a failed artist. Only history aficionado know that he was also a failed architect. When he applied for the last time to the University of Vienna to become an art student, the university reject him and argued that his talent is actually on architecture, not art. Reading this argument, his mind flew back to the days when he visited Vienna art museum to find inspiration. It was not the painting there who captivated him, it was the building itself, thus he agreed with the university assessment. There was one problem ... he slacked off during his high school, and never got any "Abitur" (A high school certificate.) He only passed high school, not graduated from it. To enroll in architecture faculty, you have to have an Abitur. Thus he cursed his own laziness ...

Fast forward 30 years later. He managed to become "Der Führer," the highest undisputed leader of Germany. He had so many dreams, most of them were twisted. It was the time to realize them. 

He saw himself in a young architect named Albert Speer, and made him the official architect of the Reich. Speer himself was deeply impressed by the charismatic mustached dictator, and happily complied.

Hitler's vision was, Berlin would be the "World's capital" or "Welthauptstadt" in German. It was supposed to be renamed into "Germania" too.  It was Speer who designed this new capital, with Hitler's close supervision. With megalomaniac like Hitler, you could expect an impressive design, even among other bullshit buildings! Let's see what kind of city that Hitler approved.

The Design

Welthauptstadt Germania

First, he planned to relocate the Berlin's main axis. This new axis will be free from any traffic. This new axis would be the 5 km (3 mile) long boulevard, whose sole purpose were to become a parade ground! All traffic would be diverted to the underground highway below the parade ground.

That was only the beginning. See the picture on the right? That is the picture of the miniature of the envisioned Welthauptstadt Germania.

See the triumphal arch in the middle? That arch would be larger than the famous Arc de Triomphe in Paris. Far larger! This Arch would be 170 meter (550 feet) wide, 28 meter (92 feet) deep, and 119 meter (392 feet) tall. Compare that to the 45 meter (148 feet) wide, 22 meter (72 feet) deep, and 50 meter (164 feet) tall Arc de Triomphe in Paris. That means, the whole Arc de Triomphe is small enough to be put in the tunnel of Hitler's arch.

See the dome on the upper part of the picture? That would be the Volkshalle (People's Hall.), the building that would become the largest dome on earth, designed by Hitler personally. The dome would rest on a 315 x 315 m² (1033 x 1033 ft²) granite podium. The dome itself will have 250 meter (820 feet) diameter. It would be 16x times larger than the St Peter's Basilica in Vatican.

Maybe you could hardly imagined how big the Volkshalle only by reading those number. Let's put it this way, the dome was so enormous that the engineers were worried that it would have its own climate. Yes, you read it correctly, they were afraid that cloud could be formed inside the dome, there could be indoor rains, etc. Told you der Führer never thought small ...

Oh yeah, According to Speer, Hitler also planned to make the dome a holy place, where National-Socialist from all place could gather and pay him respect. Wow, he was not thinking only thinking physically but also spiritually! That is one serious holy shit!

Other than the Triumphal Arch and the Volkshalle,  this new city would include many other enormous buildings: not one, but two colossal train stations, the 3rd Chancellery, and other spectacular buildings. Typical for a megalomaniac.

There is one problem though, and that is not even counting the 2nd world war ...

The Problem

 All buildings envisioned by der Führer were massive. They were made from concrete. That made them very heavy. The problem is, Berlin is basically build on top of a swampland. Such enormous buildings would slowly sunk by their own weight. 

Hitler was enraged when he heard this fact. Hey, he was never a technical man. How could the nature disagree with his plan? How could these geeks said that this is a batshit insane plan? The engineers managed to get permission to test their hypothesis. In 1941, they build some massive concrete cylinder, 18 meter (59 feet) high, and 12.650 tonnes heavy. If the the cylinder sunk only 6cm (2 and a quarter inch) in 3 years, then the soil is feasible for such project. It sunk 18 cm. Hitler's reaction to this finding was typical. He gave the engineer the finger, and I think he ranted that the will of the people will overcome this problem. 

The End

We all know how this end. Soviet army conquered Berlin, the Allies swooped the Rhine, and Hitler shot himself in his bunker. This project was never realized, other than the building of some underground road, under the envisioned new axis.

Hitler was regarded as a warmonger by modern people. Not entirely true. According to his personal best friend, August Kubizek, Hitler complained that the war wasted his energy. He made this complain shortly after his victory in Paris. He was at heart an architect. Unfortunately an unrealistic one. Fortunately for everyone, including for him, he never managed to finish this project. Just imagined what could happen if he insisted on building those gargantuan buildings, then all of them slowly sinking. We could see the emulations of what would happen to "Germania" by the example of the leaning tower of Pisa. But this time it could happen on a city ... sorry, on a WELTHAUPTSTADT scale. Imagine how that would turn him into a laughingstock of the world. That was a potential colossal bullshit.

Previous bullshit building: New South China Mall
Next Bullshit Building: Yamoussoukro Basilica

Picture Source: Deutschland Bundesarchiv