Bullshit Building 15: Peter The Great Statue

Peter the Great is a badass. A naval badass to be precise. He single-handedly turned Russia into a world power by harnessing Russia's energy and directed it to the sea. He even studied how to build a ship in Holland, and worked with his hand! Afterward, He built the first Russian navy, the city of St-Petersburg, etc. Heck, he is so badass that even the communists had to admit that he is a great czar!

Then came this travesty ...

The Beginning

Moscow mayor, Yuri Luzhkov, thinks big. He was revitalizing Moscow at that time, and he thought that a big symbol would be a good idea. Then he met a famous artist Zurab Tsereteli. Same like Luzhkov, Tsereteli thinks big. Very big. EXCESSIVELY BIG! I laughed so hard that I fell from my chair after I read his wikipedia page, especially after I read these paragraphs:

"As a reflection of his controversial reputation, a satiric short story describing Tsereteli as an alien installing a beacon through his various sculptures was published by Boris Akunin in his anthology Fairy Tales for Idiots (Russian: Сказки для идиотов, Skazki dlja idiotov). The alien's name is given as Yagkfi Yeyukuyeudsh (Russian: Ягкфи Еыукуеудш), a seemingly gibberish-like combination which actually spells out "Zurab Tsereteli" when typed on a Latin QWERTY keyboard by hitting the keys where the corresponding Russian characters would be located."

"Tsereteli's works, though often welcomed by the authorities, tend to become objects of strong public criticism. His sculptures are often blamed and mocked for being incongruously pompous and out of proportion."

From The Telegraph

So, what is Tsereteli's ideas for the new-supposed-to-be-great-&-memorable monument of Moscow? A Peter The Great statue, together with reminders that he loved the sea. Oh yeah, the statue also built to celebrate the 300th birthday of Russian navy. Thus we got the 98 meter (315 ft) tall statue ...

It's a big Middle Finger ...

First, every single Russian knows that Peter the Great HATED Moscow. He moved Russian capital to St-Petersburg at first chance. He abhorred every single moment he had to spend in Moscow. Maybe because he was traumatized, since he watched many of his relatives were butchered by a mob in Moscow. Maybe because he identified Moscow with the old aristocracies, who opposed most of his reforms. Maybe because he can't pursue his love for the sea in Moscow. Maybe because all of that factors at the same time. Bottom line: he hates Moscow. So ... why built his statue in Moscow? It is just like a big middle finger to Peter, AND to Moscow.

Second, I need to inform people who don't have any clue about the geographical condition of Moscow in case it is not clear enough. Moscow is located several hundreds miles away from the nearest sea. Yup, the statue that celebrate the Russian navy was built on a land-locked city. So, this statue is also a middle-finger to the Russian navy.

From: Oddstuff Magazine

Third, most people agree that the statue is as ugly as a monkey's ass. Local Muscovites call the statue "Gulliver" since it portrayed Peter as a giant, while riding a lilliputian ship, AND gathering lilliputian of  lilliputian fleet below him. Remember the previous criticism in Wikipedia about pomposity and screwed-up proportion? This statue demonstrates that those criticisms are valid. The Artnews even quoted Tsreteli's nemesis, Marat Guelman who said that Tsereteli has confused the history of art and "Guinnes Book of Record."  So, in essence, this is also a big middle-finger for anyone who has good artistic taste.

DITCH IT!

No surprise when Luzhkov was sacked, many people were screaming to ditch this statue. The Muscovites pointed out that St-Petersburg is a far more appropriate location, since that city bear Peter's name, founded by Peter, and acted as the HQ of Russian Baltic Fleet. The people in St-Petersburg responded by saying HELL NO! Some prominent figures even so disgusted by the statue they propose to melt the statue completely. Fortunately, the city of Arkhangel, the very first Russian port, agree to accept the statue. 

Unfortunately, the cost of dismantling the statue is enormous: 6 - 17 million Dollar. Not cool. So, the city of Moscow until today is forced to live with this statue.

Sources: 

Pravda

The Telegraph

Art News

Reuters

Oddstuff Magazine

Bullshit Building 14: Vaux-le-Vicomte

From this blog

If we want to discuss "Bullshit building," it is impossible to avoid talking at least once about palaces and mansions. So, let's start with one of the most bullshit one: Vaux-le-Vicomte.

The Origins

Nicolas Fouquet was a lucky man. He got a position as the minister of finance during the reign of the famous Louis XIV. He exploited that position by enriching himself enormously. The king already unhappy of his performance, and the fact that Jean-Baptiste-Colbert feeding the king with bad news and rumors about Fouquet was not helping him. He really pushed his luck when he decided to show-off his wealth in a spectacular fashion. The climax of this show-off was his Vaux-le-Vicomte project.

The gardens, from wikipedia

The Palace

To build this palace, Fouquet demolished 3 villages, and took their inhabitants to work on this palace. Around 18.000 villagers were working as maids, gardeners, etc. to maintain this palace. Classy! 

He also hired famous architect, Louis Le Vau to design the palace, and famous garden designer, Andre Le Notre to design its garden. He lavished the interior of the palace with diverse work of arts from famous artists like Francois Girardon (sculptor), Charles le Brun (painter) etc. Heck, Le Brun even painted the dome of this palace! Really classy!

For your information, before the building of this palace, Fouquet already famous for his art collection. In this palace, finally he could line-up all his collections, and show how artistic and rich he was. Err ... classy?

The garden is no less luxurious. It was lavished with famous sculpting, fountains, etc. Le Notre even used some optical illusion, called anamorphosis abscondita, to enhance the grandeur of the garden. Have I told you that Fouquet tried REALLY hard to be classy?

The Hall of Hercules. Source.

Neptune! From wikipedia

The End

Now, we must put all of this into perspective. Fouquet was NOT a monarch, but this palace of him surpassed so many palaces of that time. Oh yeah, at that time France also ran a very large deficit.

Fouquet didn't realize that a deficit economy is never a good time to boast the wealth of the finance minister, since he boasted this palace in front of the king. He specifically invited the king to Vaux-le-Vicomte, and even arranged a spectacular and extremely expensive performances, coupled with an impressive fireworks show. This man "really know" when, where, and to whom to show-off! 

Naturally the King was far from happy. Only weeks after that, Fouquet was arrested for corruption & incompetence, while his wife was exiled. Yes, this is the first bullshit building in my list that directly caused its owner to be jailed. If building an extremely luxurious palace caused you to be arrested is not bullshit, I don't know what is. 

Oh, one last thing. Louis XIV was appalled by Fouquet, but this bullshit palace inspired him to build even larger and grander bullshit palace. The architects, artists, and craftsmen who worked for this bullshit palace was hired to build the new palace.  Many of the artworks in Vaux-le Vicomte were confiscated, and brought to the new palace.   Today, we all know this new palace as the Versailles. That is of course, another story ...

Previous Bullshit Building: The Vatican

Next Bullshit Building: Peter the Great Statue

Bullshit Building 13: The Vatican

From FlickR

St Peter's Basilica

"If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possession, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven."

-- Jesus of Nazareth in Matthew 19:21, New International Version translation

Seriously, I don't get it. Jesus Christ himself said those words, YES, THAT JESUS CHRIST! The dude who are believed to be God by the Christians, who died on a crucifix, and resurrected after spending 3 days in a grave! That dude order his followers to be modest, to sold their belongings in order to help the poor! 

Then why the hell the largest Christian organization, the Catholic church, is so ... extravagant? They already built thousands of spectacular cathedrals and basilicas all over the world, but NO, that is not enough!! They need to put their supreme leader on a golden throne! Do they really READ their own holy script?

Oh yeah, the supreme leader also even had THE NERVE to ask Christians to look beyond "the superficial glitters" of Christmas! Holy hell, what's next, Josef Stalin ask Hitler not to shoot Russian soldiers?

Tell you what, let's conduct a small internet experiment.

1) Search in wikipedia, which countries has Catholic majority!

Got it!

From wikipedia

Okay, now we got the map where the Catholic church has real power on the field, where the voice of the church are definitely heard by its people, where the people definitely donate some of their money every Sunday to the Catholic church.

2) Let's see ... are all dark blue countries all developed/rich countries?

Of course not. Let's pick some poor Catholic countries like ... CONGO!! Yeah, let's pick Congo, it is located in the middle of the map!

3) Search in google image "Congo children" ...

From this blog

From this site

Let's see what's we got ... the first 2 images are those 2 pictures on the left and right. Holy Christ!! Some of those children even armed to the teeth!! Those poor souls not only depraved of money and playtime, they even don't have their innocence anymore! When OUR children complained about maths homework, those children in Congo complained about the lack of ammos!

And even more depressing, other images are more or less similar with those 2 ...

Surely the Catholic church could help, at least show some solidarity by selling all of their Cathedrals, Basilicas, and golden throne to finance a relief program for those poor souls. No? They can't do that or don't want to do that?

Okay, okay, maybe the church could argue Congo is a war-torn country, Vatican is not a country famous for its military capability, so military intervention to secure the relief projects are somehow out of the scope of the church. Never mind the fact that their money could be used to finance peacekeeping operation there. So let's pick another country like ... err .. Mexico? And let's focus to the poverty, not to the children.

From this site

From this blog

3) Search in google image "Mexican poor" ...

Okay ... who wants to live in these kind of housings? Anyone?

And those photos are underrepresentation of the contrast. Really. You have to remember, the Catholic church already existed for more than 1 millennium. You also have to remember that they financed and built HUNDREDS or even THOUSANDS of cathedrals, and basilicas while the poor shaking in cold and hunger. 

Even more amazing is, they built their spectacular St Peter's Basilica even when they didn't have the money!

How I know they didn't even have the money? Simple, because they were forced to sell the literal "tickets to heaven" to finance it. That's right, they asked their followers to finance their vanity project. The poor and pennyless included. But nooo, that was not the best part! The best part was, some people were extremely pissed by this. One of them named Martin Luther. He nailed his protest on the door of Castle Church of Wittenberg. The rest is history. 

So, in essence, the Vatican build spectacular buildings DESPITE existing poverty, DESPITE the fact that they didn't own any money so they were shameless enough to ask money from the poor, and in the end they lost millions of souls due to the reformation?

Nice job burying yourself under your own bullshit! I know they were and are not the brightest bulb, but this ... this is still one big holy shit ...

Previous bullshit building: Suramadu Bridge

Next bullshit building: Vaux-le-Vicomte 

Bullshit Building 12: Suramadu Bridge

The Madura island in Indonesia is a relatively big island. It is located right across Java, the most crowded Island on earth, the most developed island in Indonesia archipelago. Despite its proximity, that island is relatively under-developed compare to Java. So how the government try to stimulate the development of that island? By building a very large and long bridge to connect it with the city of Surabaya in East Java, the 2nd largest city in Indonesia. That sounds sensible ... until you take a closer look.

From wikipedia

The Result

The construction of the 5,5 km bridge between August 2003-June 2006 had problems, but nothing really special. Just typical problems encountered by any construction project in Indonesia. After spending 500 million Dollars, the longest bridge in Southeast Asia was opened by the president himself with a lavish ceremony. So far so good.

Unfortunately, from day one of the opening, people realize this bridge is actually not a good idea.

The first problem occurred just in the first weeks of the opening. Suddenly the big screws in the bridge were stolen. Yup, you read it correctly, people really stole those enormous screws that holds the bridge together. The government decided to weld all the screws to stop this problem.

Second problem is, large trucks and trollies can't use that bridge. There are 2 reasons for that. First, there is this concern that the bridge can't withstand those trucks. Hey, we are speaking about Indonesia here, where the bridges could collapse after some years. Second, the vendors in Surabaya's ferry harbor weren't happy seeing all of the trucks suddenly didn't come to them again. So, the government decided to order all large trucks to use the ferry, not the bridge.

The third problem occured in the city of Surabaya. Suddenly car theft and motorcycle theft numbers soared since the finishing of the bridge. Huh? How come? This is because all of those thief ALWAYS bring their loot to Madura. Now they've got a bridge, their operation become a hell lot easier.

And lastly, until 2012, the development of Madura is not stimulated by the bridge. No one wants to build anything, or invest their money, or start any kind of business there. 

Oh yeah, one thing developed though. After the government renovate the beach around the bridge, many people use it for illegal prostitution. That's how you want to stimulate the economy?

What is the cause of all this problem? Well ... we could trace it back to the beginning, to the very root. But bare with me, this is not a politically correct explanation.

Why Madura is underdeveloped?

Let's get back to the central assumption behind the building of this bridge: "Madura was underdeveloped because it is separated by waters with Java."

Nope, wrong assumption.

The real reason is, everyone never feel secure to invest their money in Madura.

You see, every ethnic in Indonesia has some stereotype. The Madurese has very negative stereotype. Their stereotype is so negative that everybody else believe that you can't build ANYTHING in Madura if you are not born & grow up there, if you can't speak Madurese language. Why? Because, according to the stereotype, living among the Madurese need a certain skill. We are talking about the stereotype that Madurese are easily offended people who easily swing their blades and cut other's stomach. They live like that even after they migrated to other islands. 

Just ask ANY Indonesian businessman, they will definitely said the same thing. Just ask ANY Indonesian whether they like to do any kind of business with the Madurese. 

Are these stereotypes fair? Maybe not. But it is still a fact that these stereotypes exist among other Indonesians. Even the government of Indonesia was hesitant to build anything in Madura. So, they try to "stimulate" private investors to invest there by build the bridge. Not a chance. Investors are not stupid, they check EVERYTHING before they put their money. Like it or not, they will discover these stereotypes.

So, if anyone really care about developing Madura, they have to prove to every Indonesian that these stereotypes are wrong. Dodging this problem due to political correctness, and building a bullshit bridge won't solve it.

But is this bridge 100% total-pure bullshit? Nah, it is only 99%. Nowadays people said you haven't been to Surabaya if you never been in this bridge. That is enough to reduce the bullshitness of this bridge by 1%.

Previous Bullshit Building: Abraj Al Bait Clock Tower

Next Bullshit Building: The Vatican 

Bullshit Building 11: Abraj Al Bait Tower

Imagined yourself as the guardian of the most holy site of your religion. Imagine you were responsible for its maintenance, its safekeeping, good access to that site for your coreligionists and so on. Other than those obvious things what else should you do? Well, if you were the House of Saud, the ruler of Saudi Arabia, boasting that you are very rich and show it off to the whole world instantly come into your mind!

The Background
Let me provide you some background information.

First, some basic information about the economy of Saudi Arabia. That country got most of their money either from oil export OR from Islamic pilgrimage to 2 holiest cities of Islam: Mecca and Medina.

Second, that same country practices segregation until today. Basically they segregated male & female, and Muslim & non-Muslim. The first segregation is so radical, they practically prepared to build a FEMALE ONLY CITY!! But in this writing, this segregation is not so relevant. The second segregation is not nation-wide, but only in some areas, like the holy cities of Mecca and Medina.

The 2nd segregation will be important later, but for now let's put these background infos in your mind, and move on.

The Gargantuan Clock Tower

From this forum

So, how the Sauds plan to show off their wealth? Easy, by building a gargantuan clock tower, the largest on earth: The Abraj Al Bait Tower. This clock tower is approximately 600 meters (2000 feet) high. That means, in 2012, it is the 2nd tallest building on earth. Each of its clock face is 43x43 m² (141² ft²), the largest four-faced clock in the world. Compare that dimension to the 96 meter tall Big Ben with its 6,9x6,9 m² clock face.

And the clock tower is only the beginning. They also want to build the largest building, in term of office-space, around and behind the clock tower. (See the picture on the right.) This whole complex has a 5-star hotel (The tallest in the world), shopping malls, heli pads, Islamic Museum, and Lunar Observation Center. 

And as you can see, the 600 meter clock tower is surrounded by 6 shorter towers, each 260 meters tall. 

In the end, the whole tower cost $ 15 billion.

One thing already annoyed me. Maybe it is just me, but I don't feel any feeling of grandeur whenever I saw the photo of this enormous tower and complex. I feel the architecture didn't amplify the size of the tower, you can build smaller tower with exactly the same architecture and feel the same feeling. But this one is very subjective, and not very important compare to the next facts.

The Location and the Overshadow

So, where did they build this "HEY WORLD, I am super rich, see how I build this expensive and spectacular clock-tower"? They built it in the holy city of Mecca, only few steps away from the holiest mosque in Islam: Al-Masjid al-Haram.

From this blog

From FlickR

Huh?

Wait, wait, they show off literally in front of the most sacred place of their religion? Even though I am not a Muslim, this still pissed me off! How dare they boasting their wealth only a few steps from the holiest place of their own religion!!! I am sure that a holy site has to be a place for meditation, contemplation, and prayer for whatever reason that make it sacred!!

Nope, not for the Saudis. They really want to show off, even when there is possibility that this project overshadows their holiest place. Is that the case? Well ... I put some photos from some angles, you decide whether the Abraj Al Bait Tower really overshadows the Al-Masjid al-Haram. Ask your Muslim friends who has done a pilgrimage after the completion of this tower, what do they feel about it. Do they got that feeling?

 From Skyscraper Center

Oh yeah, one last thing about its location. Previously the historic Ajyad Fortress stand on that same spot. The Saudi government never care, so they demolished the fortress without hesitation. Hey, what do you expect? These are the guys who show-off in front of their own holiest place, do you think they care about "cultural heritage" or "historic site" or anything like that?

Bottom line: its location alone already make it a bullshit building. But that is not all! Let's see the purpose of this building. What kind of purpose actually this building serves other than as a show-off?

The Purpose

According to the Saudi's, this complex will provide an accommodation for the pilgrims.

Err ... why it has to be build only few meters from the Al-Masjid al-Haram? You could build them WITHOUT risking to obstruct and overshadow the holy site right? Nope. The Saudis doesn't think so.

Other than that, the tower also functioned as a beacon for prayer. They equipped the tower with loudspeaker, strong enough to let people even 7 km (Around 4 miles) away to hear the prayer's call. Wow ... if people so far away can hear that call ... what can happen to the eardrums that are only few meter away from the tower? There will be not so much ears to be hit by such powerful speaker right? Oh ... I forgot ... the Al-Masjid al-Haram is only few meter away from that tower ...

This time they think one step ahead! For deaf people, they already prepared 21.000  lamps that can be seen from 30 km (Around 18,5 miles) away! 

Some people protest, they argue that there is no need for such massive prayer call, since Mecca was full with mosques, each of them has their own loudspeaker! And the light is even worse, because to determine the timing of one of the prayer, Maghrib, the clerics has to see whether the moon already rise or not. A powerful light from 21.000 lamps during the sunset IS NOT HELPING!! 

But who cares, the point is they want to show-off. How can they do that if they don't put ultra-loud loudspeakers and 21.000 lamps?

And we have one last point about this tower. Any gargantuan building could serve as a tourist attraction. The Big Ben, Empire State Building, Burj Khalifa, and many others have helped to put their respective city as global tourist destination. Not this one. Remember when I said non-Muslims may not set their foot on Mecca? That means only Muslim could come and see this tower with their own eyes.

Excuse me, but ALL Muslims come to Mecca for pilgrimage, not for tourism! Let me put it this way: NO ONE will come to Mecca because of this clock tower! This is the most crucial difference between most skyscrapers and this tower: Burj Khalifa attracts tourists, Big Ben attracts tourists, this clock tower attracts NO ONE!

In the end, this tower is a clear example of a bullshit building: tall, spectacular, destroying existing historic building, arguably overshadow the most holy site, and of course ... exist to show-off.

P.S: the Saudi government is not satisfied with this one. They also plan to build 1 kilometer tall tower in the port city of Jeddah, the city that functioned as the port of Mecca; the female only city I already mentioned above, and at least 10 other projects. Will they complete all of them? Only if there is no sharp drop in oil price. Are they bullshit projects too? Maybe.

Previous Bullshit Building: Ion Storm office

Next Bullshit Building: Suramadu Bridge

Bullshit Building 10: Ion Storm Office

Any 1990s - 2000s gamer knows Ion Storm company. I am sure the story of this company and its office is a useful tale for everybody, not only for gamer. This is a tale about vanity, human chemistry, and of course ... hubris.

The Beginning

In the 1990s, when internet and personal computer began to become common in every house, video game industry started to blossom into a multi-billion industry. History repeated itself: whenever a new industry blossom, new opportunity mushroom, and new people start to become rich. Very rich.

Two of such people are the 2 Johns from id Software: John Carmack and John Romero. Their personality and talents were so contrast like day and night. Carmack is the laser focus-programmer-hermit who created many revolutions in programming of graphic engines. Romero is the gamer-artist-celebrity who has a knack to implement Carmack's programming into a revolutionary game. In essence, Carmack was the scientist, while Romero was the artist. Together with other young talented friends, they arguably created and popularized the "First-Person-Shooter" genre with Wolfenstein-3D, Doom, and Quake. Hell, they even created popular terms in this genre like "Deathmatch." So for readers who are too young and thought that "Modern Warfare" is the most legendary FPS, this is the story about the men who created this genre.

Their pattern in developing their games was like this: Carmack created their "game engine," the nuts and bolts of the game, the "lego" that determines how computers shape and play the game, while Romero is the one who experimented with the engine, gave ideas what kind of implementation that the engine could or should have, implement that engine, and using it to create revolutionary special effects. The result was fantastic. Romero could utilized Carmack's revolutionary engine in many ways that Carmack himself couldn't possibly think. Not only that, Carmack's conservativeness hit the break whenever Romero went too far, while Romero's aggressiveness pulled the best out of Carmack. Looks like their difference complemented each other perfectly, covering each other weakness.

But their success created cracks and frictions. After the success of "Doom" and "Doom II," Romero acted like a rockstar with Doom gamers as his groupies, while Carmack started to work for their next project: Quake. Romero felt that Carmack lost touch with their customers: the gaming community. On the same time, Carmack thought that Romero was too distracted to fill his usual role as the id's level designer. He also thought Romero wasted his and other employee's time with his deathmatches. Romero also wanted to go big, while Carmack wanted to stay focus, stay small. In essence, Romero wanted a gaming empire, while Carmack is a minimalist who wants only to program games.

The gaming world also got another glimpse of Romero's weakness during the early days of Quake's development. When Romero, Carmack and other programmer brainstorming about Quake, Romero was really awed with what he heard. He shared his excitement with all of his fans, that means basically all gamers on earth. Complete with his usual hyperbolic wordings like "The next game is going to blow Doom to hell!"

His colleagues disliked this behaviour, with good reason. Since Quake was still in its infant stages, many of their ideas wouldn't make it in the final version of the game. Many gamers would be pissed if this happens. Romero agreed, but Romero couldn't help himself. After that, during an interview with "Computer Player" magazine, he proclaimed:
 "Quake won't be just a game. It will be a movement."
Can you see where this is going?

The cracks and frictions culminated when Carmack called Romero "poison for the company," and shoot down his design for "Quake." Romero finally had enough. He left Id Software after they finished "Quake." Carmack also practically sacked him. Romero and his close friends founded a new game company. This company would be the realization of Romero's dream.  They were sure that money would not be a problem since everybody in gaming industry thought that John Romero had Midas touch.

One night in November 1996, Romero's real estate agent ecstatically called him about the perfect place he just found. A two-story, 2090 m² (22.500 ft²) penthouse of the JP Morgan Chase Tower in Dallas. The agents explained that the space has its drawbacks: it is expensive ($550.000 per month) and difficult to air conditioned. Not a problem for Romero. Especially after he secured funding from Eidos. He and his friends also agreed for the new name of their new company: "ION Storm." Its motto? "Design is Law"!

The Lobby

The movie room & its $50.000 projector

The Design
After agreeing with the agent to rent the penthouse, and secured funding from Eidos Interactive, Romero  hired an architect firm: "Russ Berger Design Group" to change the plain penthouse into Ion Storm's office.

They spend $2.5 million for the office renovation. The result looked awesome.  Mike Wilson, Ion Storm's marketing head, declared that his company was a Willy Wonka factory of gaming. Hell yeah. You could see from the pictures.

They even have a movie rooms equipped with $ 50.000,00 projector and comfortable leather couches. Of course they have tons of computers, connected with each other to play "Deathmatch"! And seriously, I have no idea what room, other than security room, that actually need 12 televisions, but of course it looks cool as hell!

...

Biz Area

Romero really practice the company's "Design is Law" motto. You have to give him credit for that!

But, that beautiful office has one very small fundamental problem.

Other than the extremely high price, the office simply had too many sunlights. No programmer like sunlight. Especially sunlight from above that shines on their monitor screen. To solve this problem Romero installed some covers. Not enough. Ion Storm's employees were forced to bring blankets from their home to block the sunlight. A game programmer needs total darkness in order to program comfortably.

ARGH! The sunlight!

and that is after the covers ...

Gee, a game programming office with shiny sunlight over your head? Why Romero didn't know better? Oh yeah, I forgot, at that time he was a kid in a candy store with his dad's credit card! Why not? Investors were lining to give their money to him!

And looks like Romero didn't count correctly. With 55 grand rent per month, he will spend 6,6 million Dollar per year only for the rent of this office. And don't forget about the expensive electric bill to pay for the cooling of this office, and other maintenance cost. A startup company that spend so many money only for its office before making any product?? He needs to produce boxoffice video games every year only to cover the office maintenance cost.  Looks like he was 1000% sure that all the game he produced would be as popular as Doom.


The Video Game Production Business
And sunlight was only one of the problem faced by Ion Storm. Romero hired many talented programmers and artists, but most of them didn't have any experience in video game production. Since Romero himself also lacked focus, nobody direct the Ion Storm's employees.

Romero and other Ion Storm's founders initial plan was, to buy half-finished game, and complete it in short time for quick buck. This is of course besides their big project they planned to build from scratch. Their first game: a real-time-strategy named Dominion: Storm Over Gift 3.

You don't know that game right? Or maybe you remember it but can't exactly remember its gameplay? That's because the game used an outdated engine, and published around the same time Blizzard launched the most successful Real-Time-Strategy of all time: Starcraft.

Okay ... but that is not really bad, since any game company produce 1 or 2 bad games. Most important is Romero's big dream: a first-person-shooter named Daikatana. Romero envisioned a first-person-shooter that involved AI controlled sidekicks that support the player and could be utilized for many things.

To hype up the gaming world for that game, Mike Wilson had a bright idea: producing an ad that procaliming John Romero will make everyone his bitch. I kid you not. Romero was reluctant, but Wilson's persuade him with the sentence "Don't be a pussy." As the result, we got the ad on the right.

Yup, no explanation about the game, no information about its release date, no screenshot from the gameplay, nothing, just an insult to the whole gaming world. Sorry, my mistake, it was not an insult, it was 2 insults. The ad also told the reader to "suck it down." Of course the entire gaming community was pissed.

If that was not enough, the launching of the game was delayed repeatedly since its first planned release date, the Christmas of 1997. Why? Because Romero decided to change the game engine after he saw how outdated the original game engine was. Because the team members were not experienced, and Romero was too busy to provide direction. Oh yeah, since Romero didn't give any direction to his staffs, everyone was confused. Just add some office politics between Ion Storm's executives, and you got a team of angry and frustrated game programmers and designers. The Daikatana team finally had enough and quit en masse.

That was the time when even Romero recognized he made too much bullshit. He got an epiphany, that he hired too much people, and playing with too much money. By the way, the multimillion Dollar penthouse office was not helping either. Its expensive rent eating Ion Storm's finance, hemorrhaging funds from Eidos. But, it was too late.


The End
When Daikatana was finally launched in 2001, everybody hated it. The game's story was confusing, the graphic was far from revolutionary, and most importantly, the AI of the "sidekicks" enraged any gamer who try to play the game. 

Eidos finally had enough and closed Ion Storm in July 2001.

Until today (2012) nobody rent that penthouse.

Romero's feet touch earth again after this sobering experience. He finally learn one of the basic law in business: start small! Start in your own garage/kitchen, or rent a small office first! Don't hire anyone, just work with your friends or families! Only after your business grow, you should start hiring, etc. Romero's project after this fiasco, Monkeystone Games, was ran with this rule in mind.

What about John Carmack? Although he and his id Software never failed as spectacular as Romero and his Ion Storm, they also never achieved the same success when Romero was with them. Carmack also realized that it was Romero who motivated, inspired, and energized everyone in id, including him. John Carmack still working in id Software to this day, his last game is "Rage" which was launched in 2011.

Previous Bullshit Building: The Statue of the Worst Tyrant
Next Bullshit Building: Abraj Al Bait/ Mecca Clock Tower

Sources:
David Kushner, Master of Doom, (New York: Random House 2003)

Picture sources:
Romero personal website
Russ Berger Design

Bullshit Building 9: Every Statue of the Worst Tyrant

After discussing 8 bullshit buildings in Asia, Europe, and Africa, time to move to the continent across the Atlantic: America.

You can see, unlike for my previous bullshit buildings articles, I choose a little bit cryptic title for this one. So let's start this article with a pop quiz: Who do you think is the worse tyrant of all time?

My guess most people will vote for Adolf Hitler, or Joseph Stalin, or Mao Zedong. After those 3, Pol Pot, Vlad the Impaler, Saddam Hussein, and many other infamous dictator who slaughter less people will come second. Not me. My vote goes to Francisco Solano López, the dude in the photo on the right. I am pretty sure most of you will scratch your head when you hear that name or see that photo. I guess, readers who come from or know the history of Brazil and/or Uruguay will nod in agreement with me. As for people who come from Paraguay and Argentina ... it is complicated.

In order to understand the bullshitness of the statue of this man, you have to know his story. This is a story about true love ... and unprecedented horrors.

Before the Tyrant

Its all begun in Paraguay, mid 1850s. Carlos Antonio López ruled Paraguay with iron hand. He was a tyrant, but his people still managed to live under his rule. He built many schools, roads, telephone lines, etc. At the same time, he made Paraguayan army the most powerful army in that region. His jealousy almost instigated wars with Great Britain, USA, and his neighbors, but he always managed to defuse the situation at the last minute. Oh yeah, he also abolished slavery and torture, and releasing all political prisoners jailed by his predecessor. Not bad for a despot.

López Sr. send his oldest son, Francisco Solano, to Europe. His objective: representing his father to buy arms. Of course he had fun too during this tour. In Paris, he met a beautiful Irish prostitute, who was also an ex-wife of a French officer, a very beautiful blonde named Eliza Lynch. And they fell in love. When Solano returned to his home country, Eliza came with him. López Sr. and many other were understandably outraged when they discovered  this. Nevertheless, amor vincit omnia, love conquers all, so Eliza stayed as López Jr.'s mistress.

Quick comparison between the worst tyrants:
In his early years, Hitler experienced hardships: death of his beloved mother, rejection from Vienna University, etc. Combined that with 1st World War, rampant inflation, etc, life is pretty hard for young Adolf. 
Same with Stalin, he was targeted and jailed by the Czars secret police during the chaotic last years of the Romanov's reign.
Mao also experienced similar hardship, living as a poor student during China's tumultuous time, ravaged by civil wars and corruption, full with uncertainty. 
Contrary with them, Francisco Solano López was born with silver spoon in his mouth, due to winning a genetic lottery. What a lucky bastard ...

Then López Sr. dropped dead in 1862 and succeeded by Francisco Solano. To say that "everything went downhill from this point" is a very big understatement. 

The Beginning of the reign

López decided to continue the development. Unfortunately, his delusion of grandeur, combined with the vanity of his mistress means lots of bullshit projects. One example is the Asuncion Opera House, which imitates the La Scala Opera House. This Opera House didn't have any roof for decades. That is one good example of a bullshit building, but the story of that Opera house won't do justice to López since the Opera House was the least problem he created.

At that time, the political world of Latin America was divided by the traditional Blancos vs  western-oriented Colorados dichotomy. At the same time, Brazil and Argentina struggled to become local superpower. López was a Blanco. So did the government of Uruguay. But the government of Brazil of that time was Colorado. So, the Brazillians didn't like the fact that a Blanco government ruled on its southern border, and decided to invade it.

The Triple Alliance War

López decided to help his fellow Blancos in Uruguay. One problem: Paraguay and Uruguay never have a shared border. So López send his army to slaughter and loot everything in Brazilian territory near Paraguayan border, hoping to distract the Brazilian army. Because that area is basically a thick jungle, the Brazilian army didn't even bother to send any major unit to repel López army.

Map of South America

Since his distraction operation failed, López had to cross Argentinian territory to assist Uruguay directly. When he asked permission to do that, president Mitre of Argentina reject him. Even though Mitre was no fans of Brazil, the thought of López army crossing his territory was even more appalling. At that time, February 1865, the Uruguayan government already fell. This was the best chance for López to defuse the situation. López didn't see it that way. It seems he thought that apologizing is for pussy, so he declared war against Argentina, and send his army to slaughter and loot the Argentinians, forcing their way to Uruguay.

Extremely pissed by this, the Argentinian, Brazilian, and Uruguayan government created a "Triple Alliance," hence the name "Triple Alliance War". Yup, you read it correctly, the land locked and small country of Paraguay was at war with similar-size Uruguay plus its 2 gigantic-size neighbors. López managed to unite the Brazilians and Argentinians. Too bad that alliance was meant to hunt his head.

After some victories in the early stages of the wars, the destruction of Paraguay Navy in the Battle of Riachuelo totally changed the war. Paraguay army was retreating, and repeatedly defeated by the alliance's forces. The alliance were also losing soldiers, but with their massive population and resources, they could replace it. Paraguay on the other hand, started to run out of adult male, so they were forced to recruit minors. Adult males were not the only thing they ran out. Remember the fact that Paraguay is a land-locked country? The Paraguayan army had difficulties in replacing their used ammunitions since most of their ammo were imported. Lòpez and his rag-tag army were  forced to flee from the capital, to the jungle.

Like a typical tyrant, he was sure that he was destined for greatness, so all this defeats had to be due to conspiracies! He blamed his advisors, officials, military officers, and all the foreigners. He even begun slaughtering his own families. His 2 brothers and 2 brothers-in-laws were all killed. See, Stalin, Hitler, and Mao had slaughtered millions, but butchering their own family directly? Nah, those amateurs never go that far!

But wait, that was not all! López mother suddenly revealed one terrible secret: he is literally a bastard, fathered out of wedlock. He went ballistic. His own mother even conspired against him! His reaction was swift and brutal. His old mother was caged, together with his sisters, and flogged along their journey deep inside Paraguayan jungle. Remember, we are talking about his mother here, the woman who bring him to this world!

There is an adage "One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter," but no one say "one man's mother torturer is another man's hero." So now you see why even a maniac like Hitler suddenly looks like Florence Nightingale in comparison to Francisco Solano López. No. Forget those 3 amateurs. I am pretty sure that López supervised the devil himself when Satan wrote his dissertation about "Cruelty". Poor Satan definitely need some guidance from López!

During his flee, finally López was cornered by the Brazillian army. He was killed at 1st of March 1870 when the Brazillians tried to disarm him. His last words were Muero con mi patria! or "My nation die with me!" He got a point there. Eliza Lynch was forced to dig her lover's grave with her bare hand before kicked out of the country.

The Aftermath

Paraguay Territorial Loss

After the death of López, Paraguay lost almost everything. At that time, Paraguay was known as "The country of woman" since for some years adult male were generally absent. A large part of its territory was annexed by Argentina and Brazil, including areas where the very important yerba mate cash crops were cultivated. The Alliance army also practically occupied Paraguay until 1876. Of course Paraguay had to pay reparation to Argentina, Brazil, and Uruguay. 

Despite winning the war, the Alliance got crippled by their debts. Brazil, for example, only managed to pay off their debt in the 1950s. So, in essence, López ruined 4 countries, while slaughtering most of the male population of his own country and his own brothers, and as the final act, he also tortured his own sisters and mother. López put the bar very high for any future dictator who are interested in replacing him as "The worst tyrant of all time."

Oh yeah, his true love, Eliza Lynch also tried to come back to Paraguay some years later, when she thought she could reclaimed some of "her" properties. She was kicked out again, this time permanently. She died in obscurity in Paris in 1886.



Today's situation
So, you already know the life of Francisco Solano López. Maybe you wonder "Who the hell want to make a statue of this monster?"

Remember in the beginning of this article when I said that Argentinians and Paraguayans view of him is complicated?

Fast forward to the 1930s. At that time, Paraguay faced another war. This time against Bolivia. They need to rally the people. They need an unifying figure, a hero ... a legend. Desperate to found one, they finally settle with Francisco Solano López. Paraguay politicians eagerly re-visioned history to make him look as heroic as possible, whitewashing everything. They even moved his remains to "National Pantheon of Heroes," and designates his date of death as "Heroes Day." The dictator of Paraguay in 20th century, Stroessner, also took the remains of Eliza Lynch, declared her "national heroine," and buried her in a notable grave in Asuncion. So, despite the fact that López is the dude who flogged his own mother, he is until today (2012), considered as the greatest Paraguayan hero! That's why they built him some statues! Wow, imagine your reaction if you saw someone built a statue to respect Hitler in Israel or in his hometown ...

Not only the Paraguayans, the Argentinian revered him too! As sign of respect, in 2009, the Argentinians even named one of their Armored Artillery Group after López! Huh? How come? That is because he and his father repeatedly ranted against the British. For those of you who forgot, Argentina is still pissed by the British after the Falkland War.

No wonder everybody said politic is dirty, bloody, and above all ... disgusting ...

Previous Bullshit Building Article: Chinese Ghost Towns
Next Bullshit Building: Ion Storm's Office

Sources:

"Stupid Wars" by Ed Strosser and Michael Prince

The "War Nerd" article on the War of Triple Alliance
South America map from:  http://www.boothroyd.com/sa.htm
Paraguayan territorial loss map from:  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Krigsteater_trippelalliansekrigen.png?uselang=es

Photos of Statues from Panoramio:
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/15831475
http://mw2.google.com/mw-panoramio/photos/medium/68338240.jpg

Bullshit Building 8: Chinese Ghost Towns

In the ending of the my 3rd bullshit building article, I already mentioned that the Chinese elites haven't succeeded in dispelling the stereotype. Since "8" is such glorious number in Chinese tradition, I decided to continue the Chinese bullshit in this 8th installment of Bullshit Building series.

The year is 2007. After they unsuccessfully dispel the Chinese stereotype with their bullshit mall, the Chinese elites met again. They need to top the bullshit mall with something even grander, something that is far more epic. Finally, they agreed to build ... a bullshit city!!

The Beginning

They had their doubt at that time, because the worldwide economic crisis had just began. They knew that the building of anything could act as a stimulus for their economy, helping lessened the negative effect of the crisis, therefore undermining the bullshitness of the city. That doubt vaporized when one of them screamed "We WILL BUILD MULTIPLE BULLSHIT CITIES!! Nobody could mistake our bullshit if we build bullshit cities EVERYWHERE, in every corner of our country! Nobody would think we build it for wise stimulus if we build bullshit cities like crazy!"

Thus the first foundation of bullshit cities was laid.

Empty street of Zhengzhou New District

Thames Town

The Result
By 2012, the Chinese government already build multiple cities in every corner of their territory. Nearby the Mongolian borders, they built Ordos. Near Shanghai, in Songjiang district, they built "Thames Town," complete with the English guards! In Kunming prefecture, they built the Chenggong District.  In Henan province, they expanded the city of Zhengzhou, erecting "Zhenghou new district". See, they build bullshit cities everywhere! And that is not the complete list! We are talking about gigantic effort to dispel stereotype here, we have to think BIG! Very big!

All of these projects produce the desirable results: bullshit cities. You could see from the photos that all of these cities are still empty. Cities designed for hundred thousands people are filled only by several thousand people. Most of them are governtment officials. Remember the eerie feeling you felt when walking on the empty New South China mall? Multiply that by 100 since we are talking about city-scale bullshit here.

Zhengzhou New District from above

Chenggong from above

The people of China themselves are not amused. Many of them lived in cramped old flats in the dusty & overcrowded old cities. They really want to move to this new cities. Unfortunately, they don't have enough money to buy a flat there. Yup. To make sure this bullshit is really bullshit, speculators own most of the flats in this new cities, driving the price of every flats higher and higher. You think the burst of the real estate bubble in the US that caused world financial meltdown is bad? Wait till this bubble burst! You will sea world finance exploded, the explosion will be so great that its heat will melt the ice caps of Greenland!

An empty street in Ordos

Another empty street in Ordos

Another Theory
I have another theory why they build so many empty towns. Perhaps they practice Feng Shui in their whole country! Somewhere in their Feng Shui books they have to have this line:

"If you want to receive the positive Qi from the whole universe, build tons of bullshit cities in every corner of your country!"

This line spurred them to building frenzy that still last until today. Yup. You read it correctly, they are building new houses, malls, monuments, etc in those empty ghost towns. Either they really believe their Feng Shui, OR they really just want to show the world that they can be that stupid. Either way, the bullshit still continues until today.

Let's just hope this ends before it drags and buries the whole world.

Addendum 18.10.2012:
Some people utilize Ordos as skateboarding heaven!



Previous Bullshit Building: Patuxai Triumphal Arch
Next Bullshit Building: Every Statue of the Worst Tyrant

Picture sources:
metagini.com
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1339536/Ghost-towns-China-Satellite-images-cities-lying-completely-deserted.html
http://www.businessinsider.com/chinese-ghost-cities-2011-5?op=1
http://doznajemo.com/2012/03/26/sablasni-grad-duhova-u-kini-je-li-dosao-kraj-ekonomskog-buma-fotovideo/