My friends asked me an interesting question:
"If you could only have one of them, which one would you prefer, to love or to be loved?"
I thought for a split second and think that both thinks can't be separated. Then I think a little bit further. Finally, I decided:
"Neither. If I have to choose one unanswerable feeling, I choose to hate."
I am sure many people will be surprised by that answer, just like my friends. Many will be appalled too. This happens because the opinion that "Love is good" and "Hate is bad" is so deeply ingrained in our mind. News flash for all of you:
"LOVE IS OVERRATED!!"
and
"HATE IS UNDERRATED!!"
How do we call a man who so in love with a girl that he give no shit about her opinion and keep sending her e-mails, love letters, etc.? STALKER!! No need to give examples, you know what a stalker is. Imagine what happens if any of those creepy stalker hate a little bit more. They won't be stalkers.
How do we call a man who hate an unjust system so much that he fight against it? FREEDOM FIGHTER! Or in other cases: RIGHT ACTIVIST! Example: Abraham Lincoln HATE slavery so much that he pushed an amendment of US constitution to prohibit it. Imagine what happen if Abraham Lincoln loved those slaveholders and their rights to own slave! Forget it, it is too TERRIBLE to be imagined!
Now, let's return to my friend's question. The 1st proposition, to love without any reciprocation, is tragic. No need for me to explain why, so many poets already do that. No freakin way I want to put myself in that kind of position VOLUNTARILY or CONSCIOUSLY!
The 2nd proposition, to be loved without answering back, is annoying at best ... or can be EXTREMELY TRAGIC at worst. Just imagine what you think if you received endless love letters from someone you don't like. Annoyin. Just imagine if suddenly that creepy stalker kill her/himself because you don't love them back. Or even worse, tryin to kill a public figure to draw your attention! Holy shit! NO FREAKIN WAY I want to put myself in that kind position voluntarily or consciously!
My proposition turns up just fine. Hey, I already hate abstract things like genocide, slavery, injustice, etc., and concrete people who do those despicable things and beyond help: Osama bin Laden, Habieb Rizieq Shihab, current regime of North Korea, Solano Lopez, etc. That means, I already do that voluntarily, consciously everyday, and tell you what, it's not that bad!
In essence: love and hate is not automatically good or bad. Life is too complicated for such simplistic view.
In general, as we grow up, we are used to calculate things, even abstract things like our feelings, love and hate. We are too afraid to love, or to hate, and too afraid to not be loved, or to be hated. We are afraid being deemed hateful for hating, or foolish for loving. That we create a "bargaining system" in our heads regarding those feelings. We only love people who can or will love us back, or those who are "beneficial" to love. We are afraid to voice our hate. What we show to others is a mere diplomacy, has to be politically correct. We don't act genuinely anymore once we've grown up.
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