Saturday, September 1, 2012

Underdog Battles 3: Battle of Longewala

Where and When: Longewala, 30 km from Ramgarh, Rajasthan Province; 4 - 7 December 1971
Who: Pakistani Army & tanks vs 120 Indian soldiers

Background:
Once upon a time, the country named Bangladesh was part of Pakistan and called "East Pakistan." One of their key identity was their religion: Islam. Unfortunately, despite their smaller number, the Western Pakistanis dominated everything. Unhappy with this situation, the East Pakistanis or Bangladeshi protested. The West Pakistanis answered that protest with an outright genocide.

From Mapzones
Like other genocide, this one also triggered a mass exodus to their neighbor, in this case: India. The Indian government picked their calculator and started to do their math: which one is more expensive, taking care of the refugees or backed the Bangladeshi up with a military intervention? Hey, a military intervention is far cheaper! So they intervened and invaded Bangladesh, while sending their navy to begin a naval blockade in the Pakistani water.


The Pakistani Strategy:
The (West) Pakistani themselves until today, are the sworn enemies of the Indians, their military was, and still is, geared to defeat the Indians. But there is one problem: the Western and Eastern Pakistani was separated by India itself! It would be nearly impossible for the Pakistanis to reinforce their eastern territory in any war against India!

So, their strategy is to attack the western provinces of India instead, and grab as many territory as possible to attenuate any territorial loss of Eastern Pakistan. The Pakistani military never kid themselves that they could conquer the whole India. They were sure that international pressure would make any war with India short, so this territorial gain functioned as bargaining chip during the peace talk.

When the Bangladeshi independent war broke out at 3rd of December 1971, they immediately put that strategy into practice. They already send their spies into the border area to get the infos about Indian army units there. Based on those intels, they plan to invade the province of Rajasthan.

From Mapzones
Unfortunately, their intels missed a small military post on Longewala, manned by 120 Indian soldiers, on the road to Ramgarh.

Unfortunately too, those intels didn't inform the Pakistani army about the terrain, the geographical obstacle, and many other details.


The Contact:
The Indian post detected the Pakistani invasion far before they reached the post. Major Kuldip Singh Chandpuri, the commander of that post realized that he was badly outnumbered and outgunned. His 120 men who didn't have any tank would fight more than 2000 Pakistani soldiers, who got 45 tanks. His superior couldn't send any reinforcement, and advised him to either stand his ground or retreated.

He assessed his situation. His men has limited means of transportation, while the Pakistani army was highly mobile. Retreating was far more hazardous than made a stand in their post, which has the higher ground, and fortified by barb wires, and other defensive works. He decided to stand his ground.


The Battle:
When the Pakistani arrived in Longewala, 30 minutes after midnight, they were reasonably confident. The Indians were outnumbered, and outgunned. Too confident. In fact, they did almost no route reconnaissance nor engineering reconnaissance before their assault. 

Their opening artillery strike killed the camels in the post. The Indians hastily laid a minefield in front of the approaching Pakistani tank. Naturally this didn't work. Okay, so far so good for the invaders ... but then the Indian started to fight back.


First, the anti-tank guns of the Indians took out a dozen Pakistani tanks. The assault stopped after they discovered a barb wire. They guessed that they are blocked by minefield. Under the fire of the Indian army, it took 2 hours for the Pakistani to bring their engineers to the front ... only to find that the minefield was non-existent. 

Second, the Pakistani tried to surrounded the post, but the soft sand terrains bogged all armored vehicles down, making them sitting duck for the Indian's anti tank weapons.

Third, the far more numerous Pakistani army actually managed to surround the base, but they never managed to get close. The Indians repeatedly shot them down from their defensive position, using everything they got. Their superior position and the conduct of the Pakistani army convinced all the Indians in the post to stand their ground firmly. Again and again they repelled the Pakistani assault.

Finally, the sun started to rise. The Indian headquarters send some jet fighters and mowed down the Pakistani army from air. The fact that the post and the Pakistani army were all located in open terrains sealed the destruction of the Pakistani army. To complete the victory, the Indian send their own tank regiment to that post, sending the Pakistani army back to their border.


Aftermath
The battle was a big tactical and strategic victory for the Indian army. Their lost was 2 soldiers, 5 camels, and one jeep. The Pakistani lost 200 soldiers and 500 vehicles, including 34 out of 45 of their tanks. The Pakistani plan to invade India from this road was over before it even begun. For his conduct in this battle, Major Kuldip Singh Chandpuri received Maha Vir Chakra, the second highest military decoration in India.

This battle really showed that history has no mercy for hubris. He who is too proud to do proper recon to got their facts straight will receive nasty surprises. Very nasty surprises.


Thursday, August 30, 2012

Homage to The Expendables 2

The first Expendables is not a bad movie. My score for that is 70 out of 100. Yes, it was a badass movie, but the action was not really that intense or much. Yes, the cameo of Schwarzenegger and Willis was awesome, but it was really short.

Nevertheless, I admitted that the concept is cool. That's why I was excited when I heard they were making its sequel.

Stallone definitely read the critics of his first work. After the first one, he definitely could identify the weakness and shortcomings. That's why I had high expectation for the sequel. My expectation became higher and higher when I heard Schwarzenegger & Willis would expand their role, JCVD was casted as the main antagonist, Chuck Norris would have a role etc. My expectation was sky-high. 

Then I watched the movie.

HALLE-FUCKIN-LUYA, WHAT A RIDE!! If my expectation was sky-high, the real deal is Mars-high!!


The Good
Here is the deal, the first 20 minutes IS THE BEST ACTION SCENE EVER!! Armored cars crashing through the bad guys fortress, mooks blown up by .50 machine gun, Jet Li busts heads, etc. I am in heaven. Really. I am REALLY in heaven. I don't mind to pay DOUBLE the ticket price, watch the first 20 minutes, and watching Stallone, Statham, Lundgren, etc. knitting some socks until the end credit. 

Of course that is not the case. After that mega-awesome first scene, we see the main story where the Expendables kicked tons of asses. By the way, none of the women in this movie are pussies. NONE! Even the villagers gripped their guns and make a stand!! THAT my friend ... is only the tip of the manlyness of this movie. 

Here is another one, we also see Chuck-fuckin-Norris wiped out an entire army single-handedly. That is what happened to ANYONE who piss Chuck Norris. Even Stallone, Lundgren, and their gangs looked in awe when the manliest man on earth walk toward them.

And finally, we also watch Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, and Norris blasted the bad guys together in the final battle. I swear, during that scene, some of the audience's vein were busted because too much blood pumping to their dick!! The men who bring their wife or girlfriend to the theater instantly start going to the business of making new children, and their women screamed Norris' or Stallone's or Schwarzenegger's name, making their men even more energetic!! And I also swear that the cleanladies already sighing and muttered "Here we go again ..." 

YES, this movie is THAT manly.


The Bad
Many will pointed out the plot is too cliché. Hey smartass, YOU MISS THE POINT!! This is the movie about manly men kick ass, not about oscar-winning story!

I really don't give a damn about the bad thinks in this movie, instead in this section I will praise Jean Claude Van Damme FANTASTIC performance as the antagonist, Jean Vilain. He is so badass, he even wear sunglasses INSIDE a cave! He is so badass, that his cliché name is making him even more badass! He is so badass that he kicked the ass of some of the audiences, including mine! His kick is so hard that I lunged from my sit 4 rows ahead. That is an honor ... a great honor.

Scott Adkins also played an excellent "dragon" for Van Dammes "big bad." Many complained that Adkins' character was not needed. Naaah, a good big bad always has at least one loyal and badass dragon.


The Ugly
Gone are "the man with pretty face" which are the norm of modern films. 

Here we got action movie where the manly men doesn't need to be a vampire, or bitten by a mutant spider, or any other BS like we got in modern films. The men's faces are violent, tough, brutal. Aaah ... after the pussification of culture with craps like "Eat Pray Love" or "Twilight" or "Spiderman Trilogy" FINALLY we got the antidote strong enough to reclaim the manlyness of the silver screen!

Maybe you could argue that Liam Hermsworth is a pretty-boy. Hey, he is THE ONLY ONE in this movie, but he is NOT the main character, he admit that the ass-kicking life is not for him, and finally ... JCVD fixed that for us! 


My favorite line:
Schwarzenegger during the final battle: Who's next? RAMBO?

Final Verdict:
100 out of 100. All of the weakness of this movie are irrelevant trivias. This movie kicked serious ass! Don't watch this movie if you are a wimpy pussy who cringed and cry like a baby when some heads were blown and blood were splattered! Now, I can't say it politely since this is too important to be shrouded by political correctness, what I want to say to any male who dislike this movie is FUCK YOU! You are a disgrace to your fellow man!


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Amazing Quotes 6: George Carlin

From: Wikipedia
Some great quotes from, IMHO, the greatest stand-up comedian of all time: George Carlin.

"Much more important is to teach children TO QUESTION what they read!! Children should be taught to question everything they read, everything they hear!Children should be taught to question authority!! Parents never teach their children to question authority because ... parents are authority figure themselves, parents don't want to undermine their own bullsh*t inside their household!"

“If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.“

“When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.“

“I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.“

“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.“

“I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.“

“Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.“

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Homage to Punisher: War Zone

Punisher: War Zone is my ultimate "Guilty Pleasure" movie.

By that, I never mean I enjoy Punisher: War Zone as a terrible movie or despite it is a terrible movie. Hell no! This movie is easily on of my Top 10 favorite movie of all time! It is BEAUTIFULLY casted, shot, and directed, how come anyone say this movie is not awesome? Oh yeah, I forget most people are wimps. 

What I mean by "Guilty pleasure" is, I enjoy this movie in FULL AWARENESS that some of my enjoyment come from the fact that this movie showed how the Punisher butcher so many monsters.

C'mon admit it. You also have that joy, usually at the end of the movie, when the good guy finally kill the bad guy. Like in every Die Hard movies. Like in the end of most Schwarzenegger or Stallone's movie. For me, that kind of joy is a guilty pleasure.

The difference between The Punisher and those other movies is: you got that satisfaction from the beginning until the end, not only in the end. If you read his comic, especially the MAX series, you know exactly that every single killing he made induce that "guilty pleasure."  Almost in every chapter, every scene, Punisher is killing or torturing then killing some criminals whose humanity is CLEARLY non existent. This movie has exactly that same tone and atmosphere.

For example, The Punisher track down some junkies who were also parkour addict. The movie showed those junkies just robbed and butchered a shop owner by axing his head. Yup, the movie really showed a dead old man with a big axe on his head. Not to worry, shortly after that, the Punisher ambushed them on a roof. He blew up the first parkour junkie with a rocket, snipe the second one, and interrogate the last one ... before throwing him to a pointy fence, stabbing the junkie's chest from below, and finally the Punisher jumped on his neck! That tone and atmosphere create far superior "guilty pleasure" compare to the joy of seeing Schwarzenegger or Stallone mowed down the antagonist's mooks with big machine gun. If you prefer that kind of "guilty pleasure," don't worry, the Punisher also slaughtered those cannon fodders in over-the-top shoot-out.

Okay, let's begin with the nuts and bolts of this movie. 


The Story
The story is simple: Punisher slaughter a mafia family, Billy Rusotti escaped but his face was screwed, then he hunts the Punisher after freeing his batshit insane younger brother! Anything else are trivial. Many people complained the story is idiotic. Who cares!! This movie is about TONE, and ATMOSPHERE, what kind of story do you expect? The Godfather? Serpico? Silence of the Lambs? Naaah, this movie is too awesome, it never need any good story. NEXT!!


Thomas Jane
From this blog
Ray Stevenson
From this site
The Punisher
I already mentioned that the Punisher is one of my favorite character. In this movie, Ray Stevenson portrait him PERFECTLY! He is physically intimidating, hard like tungsten, but could show his sentimental side. After he killed the wrong guy, he really manned up to his responsibility, and visited the guy's widow, prepared to receive any retribution, even handing her a loaded revolver. In other words: he really got the Punisher's character.

This is in contrast with the previous Punisher: Thomas Jane. Look at him.
1) He is a pretty boy, not a nasty killing machine!!
2) He is a schemer, not a punisher!!
3) He never killed anyone by PUNCHING HIS FACE!!

Hands down, Ray Stevenson IS the Punisher. I am sure if both of them met, before Thomas Jane's Punisher can scheme anything, his head was already ripped off by a punch from Ray Stevenson's Punisher.


The Antagonists
As the main antagonist, we have Dominic West playing Billy Rusotti a.k.a Jigsaw. He is a narcisstic-sadistic-cartoony-douche whose pretty face screwed by the Punisher, burned by anger, but start crying whenever he saw a mirror. Lucky he got a loving brother! (See the next paragraph) I like this villain. I really like it! He is goofy, cartoony, and violent at the same time! But he also love his brother sooo much that he released him from a mental hospital. Speaking about his brother ...

Then we also got Loony Bin Jim alias LBJ alias James, the younger brother of Jigsaw. A psychopathic-high adrenaline-batshit insane-cannibal who eat a male nurse alive. Remember about Jigsaw start crying whenever he saw a mirror? LBJ also loved his brother so much that he broke every single mirror in the vicinity of his brother. Who said a monster couldn't love anyone? 

Speaking about the antagonists ... one of my favorite scene from this movie is when those 2 brothers recruited an army from the darkest part of New York for the final battle. Jigsaw made a speech about "freedom" and "American dream" in front of a gigantic american flag, in front of Chinese triads, Irish mobs, and black gangsters. That was ... SUPERB! Man, I really didn't know whether to be awed or laughed my ass off when I saw that speech for the first time! Now I know. I have to STAND UP and give a SALUTE!! That scene is too awesome to got any other reaction.


The Supporting Casts and Actions
Other than the main casts, the supporting casts are also excellent. Same like Ray Stevenson IS the intimidating Punisher, Wayne Knight IS the resourceful Microchip, and Dash Mihok IS the bumbling detective Soap! 

I also loved the fact that in the final battle, the Punisher used an assault rifle instead of submachine gun like MP5 or machine gun like M60! I always have a soft spot for an assault rifle ...

Oh yeah, he also has a good reason to be alive even after receiving tons of shots from those mobs: he was equipped with dragon skin body armor! Holy shit!

BTW if you are a gun buff, and interested in finding out what kind of guns were used in this movie, check this site!


In the end, this movie is not a financial success. Predictable. Most people are too wimpy, not manly enough to enjoy the Punisher MAX comics, let alone watch this badass movie. No problem, at least I saw ONE awesome Punisher movie.


Final Verdict: 99 out of 100. This film is very enjoyable for me from the beginning until the end. Watch it if you love action, gore, and black humor. RUN FROM IT if you are too wimpy, if blood splattering from decapitated neck makes you scream. You are NOT manly enough to watch this movie!