Future Microsoft Game Console

Microsoft tried to shove b.s. to suck money from gamers. Their tool: their newest gaming console "Xbox One". What b.s you ask? You know, b.s like the console has to be connected to internet once every 24 hours. Why? Because they want to sell "blast processing" ... sorry, that was what Sega sold 2 decades ago. Now they used the name "Cloud computing." Okaay, I am still skeptical, but maybe MAYBE cloud computing is as awesome as they say ...

But that was not the only b.s. from Microsoft. Xbox One games can't be re-sold without big-brother permission. Their reason for this? The second-hand game market killing the developers ... yeah right. Just like second-hand car burying the car industries, second-hand clothing destroying textile industries, etc.

Oh, other than those 2 b.s., Microsoft also tried to shove its version of Orwell's 1984: Kinect 2.0.. In essence, it is a digital camera-microphone that is equipped with their own processor. It can see everything. EVERYTHING. Even your heartbeat. Oh, since the only way to turn on the Xbox One is via voice command, this baby is ALWAYS ON. They try to b.s that it can be paused. During this paused mode, it can only recognize "Xbox On" phrase. Err ... that means it is till functioning right? It is watching us all the time right? And they introduce this at the same time with the Prism scandal? No wonder Penny Arcade gave it a loaded name "Mandatory Evil Camera." A German official calls it "a twisted nighmare". Nah, either nickname is too blatant for my taste. I prefer to call it "Eye of Sauron" :) 

Of course gamers didn't take it lightly and basically boycotting "The One". The backlash was so severe that one of Microsoft direct competitor, Sony, exploited it to boost the sale of their machine, the PS4. The reaction from gamers is just ... overwhelming. For example, gamers gave Sony standing ovation when they say "WE ARE NOT MICROSOFT," we love status quo! Microsoft decided to cancel  all of their b.s. I think it is too little, too late. And it has to be noted, it is NOT a total reversal. For starters they keep the Eye of Sauron. This actually amplify the current main problem of Xbox One: the lack of trust. I use this "Xbox One" experience to guess future gaming console from Microsoft. I wonder if others think like this too ...

1) XXXbox!
Let's start with the name ... since they think that "Xbox One" is a good name for the successor of "Xbox 360," why don't go for broke? Use the name: XXXbox! It is so hardcore that one X is not enough! It will be ETERNAL, just like porn! Wicked! Bodacious! Cool! Funky! Epic! 

2) Green Pass!

Not only electricity and internet connection, XXXbox could only function if we put a special green sticker, evidence that we pay the company, I mean SUPPORTING THE ENVIRONMENT! Yay! It only cost 10 Bucks per month! What? You hate that? You don't want to save the trees? HEARTLESS BASTARDS! This is about the future of EARTH! How dare you protest this, are you intending to rip off your own planet?

3) Let's monetize EVERY SINGLE DETAIL!

Microsoft already tried to monetize the second-hand game market by ordering re-sellers to pay them. Why stop there? Using the EYE OF SAURON Microsoft can totally monitor how many people access your XXXbox! 

Two gamers playing the game console? ARE YOU TRYING TO BLEED US DRY? Second player has to pay, PAY PAY PAY! 

The whole family want to watch Netflix together with it? HEY, movie theater sold their ticket to EACH INDIVIDUAL! Are you trying to rip-off Microsoft with this so called "family gathering"? Not a chance! PAY, PAY, PAY! 

You stand in front of your TV? HA, that's mean you already intended to play, the machine will start warming up! What? You are not playin? PAY, PAY, PAY!

4) Big Brother Sucker Portal!

Why stop with the "Eye of Sauron"? In the future, you can only play your XXXbox after giving TOTAL CONTROL of your Facebook account, Twitter account, and Bank Account to Microsoft! This is for your own benefit, this way Microsoft will assist you in your social and financial live! No need to worry to buy the Green Pass, family member-pass, extra-gamer-pass or all other extra fee Microsoft will automatically charge you! Microsoft will also charge you for the latest accessories!

Oh, since Microsoft already take over your Twitter and Facebook accounts, they will also charge you everytime you mention their name in bad context! Hey, that "®" and "™" signs are there for a reason you know! How dare you smear that without paying!

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, that is the future of gaming! Hopefully you liked them. Don't worry, if you hate that ... just buy and play an Xbox 360!

What? You think they won't be THAT evil? C'mon, these guys INSIST on putting Eye of Sauron in your room!