Three Reasons to Hate Asterix

I read all kind of comics. My top 10 comics consists of Japanese Manga , American superheroes, and Franco-Belgian comics. As long as it is a good read, I'd give my thumbs up!

There is this one very famous Franco-Belgian comics; on par with Tintin, Spirou & Fantasio, and the Smurfs; the comic that no matter how hard I tried to love it, I still hate it until today: Asterix by Goscinny and Uderzo. At first, I couldn't pointed out why exactly I hate that comic. Fortunately, now I can. So, let's get started, these are 3 main reasons why I hate this comic ....

Oh yeah, one last thing, there are still many small details of this comic that annoys me. I only list these 3 because they are the primary reasons.

1) No danger, no suspense

For those who have no idea about Asterix, basically this is a comic about a Celtic village in ancient France during the late Roman Republic. After the Roman Republic crushed the last Celtic resistant in the battle of Alesia to be more precise. This village managed to defy Roman rule due to the magic potion created by their resident druid, Panoramix/Getafix. The magic potion basically makes its user temporarily super-strong, super-fast, and invulnerable. Asterix sidekick, Obelix, has no need to drink that potion, because he drank the whole cauldron when he was very small, so he permanently has those superpowers. And ... everything went downhill after that.

Seriously, if you were a member of a village of supermen, with enemies armed only with spears and swords, life is not hard at all. This is one tricky part of writing a superhero story. If the superpower is too powerful, you take out all the suspense from it! You don't care anymore, since the enemy pose ZERO threat to the hero!  Every single Asterix comic book, I must emphasize here: EVERY SINGLE ONE, full with Asterix and Obelix sending Roman soldiers flying with their fist, while Roman swords, arrows, and spears can't even scratch their skin. It get's old quite fast. After 2 books, I start to snore. It is like reading a story about an expert ninja, master of illusion , hand-to-hand combat, projectile throwing, magic, and all other ninja stuffs, veteran of fighting against anything from the most vicious warlords to demon hordes ... only to fight a gang of primary-school bullies who cries whenever they see blood. In the end, the ninja won, and beat every single bully of the story. Boo-hoo, what a surprise! And this happens THROUGHOUT the series! I don't know about you, but I just can't stand the boredom.

And boredom is not the only thing that those magic potion created.

2) They are just a group of bullies.

After sometime, I also realize that they had gone too far in describing the relationship between Asterix and the Romans. Just like the writers of "Tom & Jerry" and "Bugs Bunny," which I despise wholeheartedly, they turn the victim into bullies. They repeatedly BEAT UP ANY ROMAN ARMY THEY MET, often without provocation, often definitely not out of self-defense, but for petty excuses.

If that is not bullying, I don't know what is.

Once again "It is cute and funny if the bully is the underdog (People from small village fighting against the Roman Legions.)." 

No it is not. Bullying is bullying, and disgusting.as hell.

And as my #1 pointed out, they are NOT the underdogs. Their superpower took out that status since book #1. Underdog or not, they are plain and simple bullies.

3) Because their enemies are stupid
Both #1 & #2 are reinforced by the stupidity of the Romans. Seriously, if I were the Romans, I would poison the village with the most lethal poison available. Just poison their wine or food before the feast that routinely done. Once everyone is dead, the Romans can turn the village into anything they like.

Or just poison Obelix and Panoramix. Without them, no superpower. Without any superpower, wiping out the village with conventional means would be a cakewalk.

Or what about this, kidnap Falbala, the girl that Obelix (and Asterix to lesser degree) has crush on, so Asterix & Obelix rush to save her, while Panoramix is attending one of the druid meeting. Crush the village during the window time when those 3 are not in the village. If they kept spare magic potion, make sure they waste it using feign attack(s). After finishing the village, than eliminate the 3 survivors one by one. THAT is what we call "defeat in detail" ladies and gentlemen!

Bottom line: There are SOO MANY other methods to neutralize the village, but did the Roman tries? Nope, because they are all stupid. 


So, in essence, it is excruciatingly hard to LIKE a comic whose heroes are just mega-powerful bullies, and the antagonists are not that bright.