Perang Barbary

Perang Barbary adalah perang bersejarah, sebab dalam perang inilah untuk pertama kali marinir Amerika menjejakkan kaki di negara orang lain. Perang ini tak pernah disinggung dalam pelajaran sejarah Indonesia, sebab, mengutip kata-kata para pejabat Republik Mimpi, hal ini adalah hal yang seen-sii-tiif!! Kenapa sensitif? Mari kita simak ...

Sebelum Perang

Afrika utara, abad 17, Laut Tengah. Perompak di.mana-mana, dan perompak ini sangat ditakuti, sebab mereka bukan cuma merampok, tapi juga memperbudak semua non-Muslim yang jatuh ke tangan mereka. Mereka juga ditakuti karena mereka dipasok dan dilindungi oleh para Dey (Sebutan untuk penguasa di daerah Aljazair, Tunisa, dan Libya.). Kerajaan inggris dan perancis saja terpaksa membayar “Uang keamanan” agar kapal-kapal mereka tak diganggu. 

Kapal-kapal Amerika semula tak diganggu, sebab mereka adalah koloni inggris, dan saat perang kemerdekaan dimulai, mereka dianggap sebagai kapal-kapal perancis. Namun, saat tenang berubah saat mereka merdeka. Kini, mereka harus melindungi kapal mereka sendiri, sebab sesuai keinginan mereka, kini mereka bukan bagian dari negara eropa manapun. 

Maka, pihak amerikapun mengikuti teladan pelindung mereka sebelumnya: membayar uang keamanan. Thomas Jefferson yang saat itu menjadi dubes AS untuk Perancis tak setuju. Menurut Jefferson, pembayaran uang keamanan cuma akan mendorong aksi pemerasan lebih lanjut.  

Tahun 1786, Jefferson dan John Adams memutuskan berunding dengan duta besar Libya di London. Mengenai alasan perompakan, inilah yang dilaporkan Jefferson pada kongres (Diambil dari Wikipedia.org):

The ambassador answered us that [the right] was founded on the Laws of the Prophet (Mohammed), that it was written in their Koran, that all nations who should not have answered their authority were sinners, that it was their right and duty to make war upon them wherever they could be found, and to make slaves of all they could take as prisoners, and that every Mussulman (or Muslim) who should be slain in battle was sure to go to heaven.

Jefferson yang sudah panas sebetulnya sudah gatal untuk berperang, tapi John Adams mengingatkan dia bahwa Amerika Serikat saat itu tak memiliki Angkatan Laut yang memadai. Maka, Jeffersonpun memutuskan untuk menahan diri saat itu. Apa yang ditakutkan Jefferson menjadi kenyataan, para Dey terus menerus meningkatkan uang keamanan tsb, sampai² di tahun 1800, seperlima pemasukan negara AS digunakan untuk membayarnya. Kongres Amerika Serikatpun membangun AL untuk persiapan perang.

Perang Barbary

Begitu Jefferson akhirnya menjadi presiden AS di tahun 1801, beliau mengirim armada tempur dan marinir AS ke laut Tengah tahun itu juga. Pengiriman tsb terjadi setelah Yussif Karamanli dari Tripoli kembali meminta “uang keamanan”. Tahun 1805, Yussif menyerah setelah para marinir Amerika mulai merangsek ke Tripoli, dan mau meneken perjanjian damai dengan pemerintah AS. Dia bahkan menerima sejumlah uang yang merupakan “Uang Tebusan” atas pelaut Amerika yang dia tangkap. 

Namun, permasalahan belum selesai. Tahun 1807, perompakan dan perbudakan atas kapal Amerika kembali terjadi. Pihak Amerika saat itu berada dalam posisi tak baik. Hubungan dengan inggris dan perancis memburuk, dan perang melawan inggris di depan mata. Tahun 1812, terjadilah perang melawan inggris. Konsul amerika untuk Dey Aljazair diusir, dan pernyataan perang dikeluarkan oleh sang Dey.

Tahun 1815, perang melawan Inggris berakhir, armada tempur kembali dikirim. Setelah menangkap kapal bendera Aljazair, armada tersebut mengarahkan moncong meriamnya ke Algier, memaksa Dey Aljazair menyerah, mengembalikan semua tawanan, mengganti kerugian materiil Amerika, dan meneken perjanjian yang memastikan tak ada lagi perompakan. Namun, begitu armada amerika berangkat ke Tunisia untuk melakukan hal yang sama, sang Dey mengingkari perjanjian itu. Tahun depannya, armada gabungan dari inggris dan Belanda, yang memutuskan untuk tidak membayar “uang keamanan,” membombardir Algier, memaksa Dey Aljazair meneken ulang perjanjian dengan amerika dan negara-negara lain, mengakhiri secara de facto ancaman para perompak di Laut Tengah. 

Beberapa hal yang menarik dalam perang ini:

1. Pernyataan dubes Tripoli pada Jefferson, yang menyatakan memperbudak penganut agama lain adalah perintah agama. Saya akan menghargai tanggapan dari saudara-saudara muslim yang menyangkal maupun mendukung, maupun menunjukkan letak pasti ayat Qur'an yang dimaksud sang duta besar.
2. Adalah menarik, biarpun Amerika tak mau rakyatnya diperbudak, mereka sendiri terus memraktekkan perbudakan sampai puluhan tahun kemudian. Artinya, standard ganda amerika dan kefanatikan Libya sudah berbenturan sejak 200 tahun yang lalu.
3. Pihak Amerika, setidaknya menurut Wikipedia, tak menggunakan agama sebagai dasar untuk memerangi para perompak ini, biarpun para perompak merasa ini adalah perang agama. Untuk hal ini, saya pribadi angkat topi buat para politikus Amerika. Sebuah perang selalu menjadi lebih kejam begitu sudah menjadi perang agama.
   

Jadi, sekali lagi, intervensi Amerika Serikat di luar negeri bisa berakibat positif. Dalam hal ini, intervensi Amerika Serikat praktis mengakhiri perbudakan dan pembajakan di laut Mediteran dan Atlantik.

Peace and War

From this blog

Everybody doesn't want war. Who does? War is horrible, people kills and maims each other. If war is a tree, an arm race could be its seed.  We already know basically World War I was avoidable, but the arm race at that time hindered peace process. So, what can we do to create world peace? Start singing Kumbaya together and throw away all your weapons? Declaring that "we love peace" and dismiss our military? Now you have gone too far. 

Some wars are better than some peace

We have gone too far by saying "The worst peace is still better than war."

Yeah right.

Tell that with a straight face to the Jews who were humiliated, harassed, and deported between the rise of the Nazi party until the beginning of the second world war. 

Tell that while seeing the eyes of the Tutsi people in Rwanda who were exterminated by the Hutu militias and troops.

Tell that nonchalantly to the Bosnian Moslems who were slaughtered by the Serbs before NATO helped them.

I could go on but I am sure you got the point. "Peace" only means "Condition which war is not chosen." It is not always "Everybody live happily in perfect harmony, and singing Kumbaya together around the campfire every night." Not every kind of "peace" is desirable. Slavery is one form of peace. So does genocide. The peace of the enslaved, and the peace of the dead. But still a peace! I will choose war anytime over those peace.

There is also another fact about war. Consider these 2 quotes:

"It is not that they love peace less, but they love their kind of peace more"

-- Saint Augustine

"You can always keep the peace if you are willing to pay the asking price; and it is a matter of high strategic decision whether the price demanded is worse  than refusal with its risk of war." 

-- Samuel Elliot Morrison

That means war is a risk. Nobody sane want to pursue a risk. At the same time, only a fool doesn't want to prepare themselves for a risk and declare it to the whole world. Only a naive-fool think that everybody love the current peace.

World Peace

So what can hinder any effort from anyone to start a war without hindering our readiness to defend ourself?

Fareed Zakaria, Penn & Teller, and many other people said globalization and free-market will make everycountry a stakeholder in world peace. 

Sorry to disappoint you guys, but World War I happened DESPITE the fact that everyone was a stakeholder in world peace at that time! And World War I indeed destroyed world economy, which can't recover until some years after the World War II. You think our politicians will learn from this stupidity? 

Yeah right. What next, you will say our politicians have heart?

So, globalization was not enough to stop a world war, and won't be enough too in modern world due to our dirty-stinkin-stupid politicians, what else do we have?

I propose these 2 policies to EVERY COUNTRY in the world:

1) Introduction of military conscription

2) Introduction of liberal democracy

The more countries adopt both policies, the less the risk of future war.

Only some participants in World War I had both of them at the same time. Why we need both of them? Simple, because both of them forced EVERYONE in the country, from the poor to the rich, from the powerless to the politicians, to have a stake in peace.

With military conscription, but without democracy, the government can drafted anyone as they please, and excluding anyone they like. Oh yeah, since a non-democracy is almost always ruled by gangster like Gaddafi, Saddam Hussein, Pol Pot, Mussolini, and so on, they also most likely to attack anyone when they got a chance. 

With democracy, without conscription, we got today's America where the left are stupid peaceniks and the right are warrior wannabe rednecks; where the poor were send to their death, the middle class spitting on the military, and the rich reaped the spoil of war; where most of the country's population are ignorant of the war conducted by their government, etc.

With BOTH conscription and democracy we can ensure that every group in the country participated physically and financially in any war. That way any country will be VERY careful to choose their war. That way any citizen will scrutinize EVERYTHING about the war: the reason, the conduct, the end, every aspect of the war.

This policies were done by Western Europe after the 2nd World War until today. See how peaceful this region is until today? Compare that to Europe BEFORE that time. Compare that to other part of the world ANYTIME. Remember the last time when USA had military conscription? That's right, the Vietnam war! Definitely Americans of that time care more for the war. Politicians finally had enough, and they get rid of the conscription to make sure future war could be fight with less resistance from the people.

So hippies, leftists, and peaceniks, for your information, we always give peace chances. It is your turn to give war a chance. To be more precise, give "preparation of war" a chance. To be even more precise: give military conscription and democracy a chance.   Or to go further, give "war to topple dictators" a chance, don't whine when some sociopath like Saddam Hussein was kicked out of office, he was a typical impediment for an IDEAL world peace.

What's that? You still want to spit on the military and oppose all kind of weapons? You still want to argue that conscription is evil per se? Tell you what, just packed all your things, join with your like-minded friends, and build a new country without any military. Let see what you will do when someone decided to invade and loot that new country of yours, my guess you will cry and whine like a baby, asking the UN, or NATO, or the US or China or Russia or anyone else who have warships, tanks, and fighter jets to defend you. In short, you are only a free-loader parasite, you want to enjoy security while calling the security guards "baby killer."

In essence, "Si vis pacem parabellum", if you want some peace, be prepared for war.

Further readings:

• Washington Post article in favor of military conscription
• Mark Humphrys article about the left and peace 
• John T Reed article about world peace
• John T Reed article about conscription

Bullshit Building 10: Ion Storm Office

Any 1990s - 2000s gamer knows Ion Storm company. I am sure the story of this company and its office is a useful tale for everybody, not only for gamer. This is a tale about vanity, human chemistry, and of course ... hubris.

The Beginning

In the 1990s, when internet and personal computer began to become common in every house, video game industry started to blossom into a multi-billion industry. History repeated itself: whenever a new industry blossom, new opportunity mushroom, and new people start to become rich. Very rich.

Two of such people are the 2 Johns from id Software: John Carmack and John Romero. Their personality and talents were so contrast like day and night. Carmack is the laser focus-programmer-hermit who created many revolutions in programming of graphic engines. Romero is the gamer-artist-celebrity who has a knack to implement Carmack's programming into a revolutionary game. In essence, Carmack was the scientist, while Romero was the artist. Together with other young talented friends, they arguably created and popularized the "First-Person-Shooter" genre with Wolfenstein-3D, Doom, and Quake. Hell, they even created popular terms in this genre like "Deathmatch." So for readers who are too young and thought that "Modern Warfare" is the most legendary FPS, this is the story about the men who created this genre.

Their pattern in developing their games was like this: Carmack created their "game engine," the nuts and bolts of the game, the "lego" that determines how computers shape and play the game, while Romero is the one who experimented with the engine, gave ideas what kind of implementation that the engine could or should have, implement that engine, and using it to create revolutionary special effects. The result was fantastic. Romero could utilized Carmack's revolutionary engine in many ways that Carmack himself couldn't possibly think. Not only that, Carmack's conservativeness hit the break whenever Romero went too far, while Romero's aggressiveness pulled the best out of Carmack. Looks like their difference complemented each other perfectly, covering each other weakness.

But their success created cracks and frictions. After the success of "Doom" and "Doom II," Romero acted like a rockstar with Doom gamers as his groupies, while Carmack started to work for their next project: Quake. Romero felt that Carmack lost touch with their customers: the gaming community. On the same time, Carmack thought that Romero was too distracted to fill his usual role as the id's level designer. He also thought Romero wasted his and other employee's time with his deathmatches. Romero also wanted to go big, while Carmack wanted to stay focus, stay small. In essence, Romero wanted a gaming empire, while Carmack is a minimalist who wants only to program games.

The gaming world also got another glimpse of Romero's weakness during the early days of Quake's development. When Romero, Carmack and other programmer brainstorming about Quake, Romero was really awed with what he heard. He shared his excitement with all of his fans, that means basically all gamers on earth. Complete with his usual hyperbolic wordings like "The next game is going to blow Doom to hell!"

His colleagues disliked this behaviour, with good reason. Since Quake was still in its infant stages, many of their ideas wouldn't make it in the final version of the game. Many gamers would be pissed if this happens. Romero agreed, but Romero couldn't help himself. After that, during an interview with "Computer Player" magazine, he proclaimed:
 "Quake won't be just a game. It will be a movement."
Can you see where this is going?

The cracks and frictions culminated when Carmack called Romero "poison for the company," and shoot down his design for "Quake." Romero finally had enough. He left Id Software after they finished "Quake." Carmack also practically sacked him. Romero and his close friends founded a new game company. This company would be the realization of Romero's dream.  They were sure that money would not be a problem since everybody in gaming industry thought that John Romero had Midas touch.

One night in November 1996, Romero's real estate agent ecstatically called him about the perfect place he just found. A two-story, 2090 m² (22.500 ft²) penthouse of the JP Morgan Chase Tower in Dallas. The agents explained that the space has its drawbacks: it is expensive ($550.000 per month) and difficult to air conditioned. Not a problem for Romero. Especially after he secured funding from Eidos. He and his friends also agreed for the new name of their new company: "ION Storm." Its motto? "Design is Law"!

The Lobby

The movie room & its $50.000 projector

The Design
After agreeing with the agent to rent the penthouse, and secured funding from Eidos Interactive, Romero  hired an architect firm: "Russ Berger Design Group" to change the plain penthouse into Ion Storm's office.

They spend $2.5 million for the office renovation. The result looked awesome.  Mike Wilson, Ion Storm's marketing head, declared that his company was a Willy Wonka factory of gaming. Hell yeah. You could see from the pictures.

They even have a movie rooms equipped with $ 50.000,00 projector and comfortable leather couches. Of course they have tons of computers, connected with each other to play "Deathmatch"! And seriously, I have no idea what room, other than security room, that actually need 12 televisions, but of course it looks cool as hell!

...

Biz Area

Romero really practice the company's "Design is Law" motto. You have to give him credit for that!

But, that beautiful office has one very small fundamental problem.

Other than the extremely high price, the office simply had too many sunlights. No programmer like sunlight. Especially sunlight from above that shines on their monitor screen. To solve this problem Romero installed some covers. Not enough. Ion Storm's employees were forced to bring blankets from their home to block the sunlight. A game programmer needs total darkness in order to program comfortably.

ARGH! The sunlight!

and that is after the covers ...

Gee, a game programming office with shiny sunlight over your head? Why Romero didn't know better? Oh yeah, I forgot, at that time he was a kid in a candy store with his dad's credit card! Why not? Investors were lining to give their money to him!

And looks like Romero didn't count correctly. With 55 grand rent per month, he will spend 6,6 million Dollar per year only for the rent of this office. And don't forget about the expensive electric bill to pay for the cooling of this office, and other maintenance cost. A startup company that spend so many money only for its office before making any product?? He needs to produce boxoffice video games every year only to cover the office maintenance cost.  Looks like he was 1000% sure that all the game he produced would be as popular as Doom.


The Video Game Production Business
And sunlight was only one of the problem faced by Ion Storm. Romero hired many talented programmers and artists, but most of them didn't have any experience in video game production. Since Romero himself also lacked focus, nobody direct the Ion Storm's employees.

Romero and other Ion Storm's founders initial plan was, to buy half-finished game, and complete it in short time for quick buck. This is of course besides their big project they planned to build from scratch. Their first game: a real-time-strategy named Dominion: Storm Over Gift 3.

You don't know that game right? Or maybe you remember it but can't exactly remember its gameplay? That's because the game used an outdated engine, and published around the same time Blizzard launched the most successful Real-Time-Strategy of all time: Starcraft.

Okay ... but that is not really bad, since any game company produce 1 or 2 bad games. Most important is Romero's big dream: a first-person-shooter named Daikatana. Romero envisioned a first-person-shooter that involved AI controlled sidekicks that support the player and could be utilized for many things.

To hype up the gaming world for that game, Mike Wilson had a bright idea: producing an ad that procaliming John Romero will make everyone his bitch. I kid you not. Romero was reluctant, but Wilson's persuade him with the sentence "Don't be a pussy." As the result, we got the ad on the right.

Yup, no explanation about the game, no information about its release date, no screenshot from the gameplay, nothing, just an insult to the whole gaming world. Sorry, my mistake, it was not an insult, it was 2 insults. The ad also told the reader to "suck it down." Of course the entire gaming community was pissed.

If that was not enough, the launching of the game was delayed repeatedly since its first planned release date, the Christmas of 1997. Why? Because Romero decided to change the game engine after he saw how outdated the original game engine was. Because the team members were not experienced, and Romero was too busy to provide direction. Oh yeah, since Romero didn't give any direction to his staffs, everyone was confused. Just add some office politics between Ion Storm's executives, and you got a team of angry and frustrated game programmers and designers. The Daikatana team finally had enough and quit en masse.

That was the time when even Romero recognized he made too much bullshit. He got an epiphany, that he hired too much people, and playing with too much money. By the way, the multimillion Dollar penthouse office was not helping either. Its expensive rent eating Ion Storm's finance, hemorrhaging funds from Eidos. But, it was too late.


The End
When Daikatana was finally launched in 2001, everybody hated it. The game's story was confusing, the graphic was far from revolutionary, and most importantly, the AI of the "sidekicks" enraged any gamer who try to play the game. 

Eidos finally had enough and closed Ion Storm in July 2001.

Until today (2012) nobody rent that penthouse.

Romero's feet touch earth again after this sobering experience. He finally learn one of the basic law in business: start small! Start in your own garage/kitchen, or rent a small office first! Don't hire anyone, just work with your friends or families! Only after your business grow, you should start hiring, etc. Romero's project after this fiasco, Monkeystone Games, was ran with this rule in mind.

What about John Carmack? Although he and his id Software never failed as spectacular as Romero and his Ion Storm, they also never achieved the same success when Romero was with them. Carmack also realized that it was Romero who motivated, inspired, and energized everyone in id, including him. John Carmack still working in id Software to this day, his last game is "Rage" which was launched in 2011.

Previous Bullshit Building: The Statue of the Worst Tyrant
Next Bullshit Building: Abraj Al Bait/ Mecca Clock Tower

Sources:
David Kushner, Master of Doom, (New York: Random House 2003)

Picture sources:
Romero personal website
Russ Berger Design

Jilbab, Burqa, and Niqab

Okay, the holy month of Ramadhan as arrived, I think I need to write something about Islam.

There are some controversies regarding the headscarf of the Moslem women. At least there are 3 types of them: Jilbab, Niqab, and Burqa. All of them caused some uproar in non-Moslem countries. Some of them prohibit all 3 of them.

NOT a jilbab

Jilbab

Jilbab
I have no problem with jilbab. Really. I think it is only a fashion. Just Compare these 2 pictures. What's the difference? It is so similar! The only different is, jilbab definitely has to cover the hair of its wearer, while other headscarf don't have to.

That means if you prohibit jilbab, you treat the Moslems unjustly. Accept if you want to prohibit all kind of headscarf, which means you already try to control fashion. Not practical, not just, and too intrusive. I know, I know, many people said that jilbab differentiate Moslem woman from non-Moslem, segregating them etc., but we live in an imperfect world, why spend so much energy in controlling fashion?

Suggestion to countries that prohibit jilbab: stop being a dick and let the Moslem women wear their jilbab. You don't like it? Tough luck, you are not entitled to force your taste to others.

On the other hand ... burqa and niqab is totally another matter.

Burqa & Niqab
Both of them covered the face of the wearer totally. It is practically like wearing balaclava, nobody can recognize the face of the wearer. Not only the face, we never can't determine the gender, what they carry inside their clothing, etc.

Niqab. From wikipedia

Burqa. From wikipedia

Some people, like this video for example, argue that burqa is a political uniform. Nah, I don't want to ban burqa based on that kind of cultural argument.

My argument is, since you MAY NOT wear a balaclava into a bank or many other public place, it is reasonable to ban burqa and niqab from public space. Yes, you read it correctly, it is a practical-security reason, NOT cultural. Culture is very subjective. Security on the other hand, is very objective. The need to identify people in public spaces even become greater since we never short of supply of psychopaths, terrorists, and criminals. You can help the state and the society in preventing and capturing those evil people by NOT making a fashion that totally obstruct identification.

What? This is not a common sense for you? Okay then, we need a law to really make it illegal to wear those 2. Don't like it? You can go to another place where people don't care about identification obstruction. Place like ... Saudi Arabia, Somalia, etc. Nice places right?

All of that had been said, I still dislike the reason why Moslem women wear them. Let me close this article with the following cartoon that picture the mentality behind all of these head-covering, jilbab included. Hopefully, Moslem women wear jilbab because of fashion, not because of the following reason:

Rampant Stupidities 2

This is the continuation of my Rampant Stupidities article. Enjoy it!


Chain e-mail/letter/facebook post
You know this stupidity. Even before e-mail exists, sometimes you got a letter that ended with:
"Send this mail to all your friends to receive all the luck and blessing on earth! People who refuse to send it will suffer, and die horribly!"

You know what, I already receive hundreds of it, and never re-send any of those letters. Whatever kind of demon or curse or power that should murder anyone who ignore this letter/e-mail, definitely are too weak to kill me. Since you and I has the same blood, bones, skins, and muscles, PLUS I never ask for protection/blessing from any deity, I am 100% sure those demons are also too weak to harm you.

But that is not all! Today's chain e-mail/facebook post become more sophisticated, now they also rely on the power of computer virus and facebook stupid policies! Yup, they repeatedly send a virus warning, an announcement that facebook gonna erase your account, and so on.

Oh my holy Quetzacoatl ... people really fall for this?? REALLY?!

Correction, it is not really new. It is actually already old since the one who reacted correctly to all of this nonsense is the renown critic Roger Ebert in December 1996! He formulate the Boulder Pledge in "Yahoo! Internet Life":

"Under no circumstances will I ever purchase anything offered to me as the result of an unsolicited e-mail message. Nor will I forward chainletters, petitions, mass mailings, or virus warnings to large numbers of others. This is my contribution to the survival of the online community."

And you know what, today is July 2012, and I am sure millions of internet user never heard this pledge, or think to the same direction. With millions of toddlers and teenagers nowadays use their blackberrys, iPhones, and Android Phones to send ANYTHING they came across to their entire contact list, just be pretty sure that you will get millions of junkmail, chain letters, useless Blackberry Broadcast Messages, etc.!

Please help the internet by became a lazy person and don't send those junks. Is it that hard to be lazy? Please. In this case, LAZYNESS is really the key to stop this stupidity.


Astrology
I am still baffled why people believe that the date of their birth could determine their personality. And I am appalled by the fact that they also think it could effect their futre, like their financial situation in the next month. Seriously?

And no, I am not limiting myself into the Greek/Roman astrology which based their astrological characters on different months, I also speak about Chinese astrology that based the grouping on different Chinese years. I am sure there are different kind of astrology, but you got the picture: thinking that some stars, moons, and planets effect you differently according to your date of birth.

Phil Lait, from "Bad Astronomy" website, already wrote an excellent piece about why the foundation of astrology, a.k.a "the power of the celestial objects that effect your future" is just a nonsense. Astrologers are basically just b.s. artists who used cold reading, shotgunning, confirmation bias, and many other psychological tricks to look accurate. Ah yeah, they also demand tons of money from their customers.

And don't tell me astrology is just a harmless fun! No it is not. It is not only about the money. It is a label, another type of grouping, of identity. Your identity determine who you are and what you do! It could be and it has been a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, despite its nonsensical nature, it can effect your life! Nancy Reagan, for example, managed her husband's schedule with astrology! Are you freakin kiddin me? No, that is a well-known fact, not fiction. Oh, if that is too "ivory tower" for you, how about this: many Chinese postponed their pregnancy to make sure they were born "in the year of the dragon" since "dragon" is one of the "big animals" in chinese Astrology. Oh yeah, many Chinese also use astrology as one criteria when they choose their spouse. Can you believe that? The most important decision of your life based on nonsense? Oh my Quetzacoatl-born from Elvis crack-during the the last king of Mordor, why so many people took astrology seriously?

Oh, because so many people thought that astrology is just fun and nobody call them stupid everytime they do that openly! That's why.

From here

Smoking
I never smoke. The closest thing to smoke that I have done is consuming some "tobacco tasted candy." It tasted horrible. I am sure every single first cigarette for any smoker also tastes at least that horrible, since cigarette smoke already tastes that bad. How come you still smokes after that? How can you smoke your second cigarette? Most smokers essentially answer that question with 2 words: "Peer pressure."

Wow.

Even the hellish taste of a cigarette could be suppressed by peer pressure? Is it that hard to resist peer pressure? Is the willingness to be accepted by your peers trumped common sense like "Don't inject poison to your lung" or "Don't pay to get hurt"?

How can we help those smokers? Simple, by refusing a kiss from them, by prohibiting smoking inside the building, by refusing to help them acquire it etc. It is called "tough love." Most of the smokers know that smoking is a very destructive habit, by they are just too addicted to stop. Non-smokers can help them by making it more difficult to smoke. Time to give another "peer-pressure" to make them stop.

I Hate Pirates

The notorious Blackbeard in his last fight

Really, I hate them. Not only the pirates, I also hate people who glorify pirates. Many people thought Pirate is cool. The only thing that stop me from smacking their face is, I give them a benefit of doubt. I know many people only know pirate as "those cool guys with eye patch, parrot, and skull flag!"

History lessons about pirates, there are 5 major pirates "golden ages": The Cyllician Pirates of the East Mediterranean during the last year of Roman Republic, the Wakou pirates from Japan during the Sengoku and Ming Dynasty, the Barbary Corsairs from Tunisia-Libya-Aljazair in 16th - 19th century, the Caribbean Pirates in 16th - 19th century too, and lastly of course the current Somali pirates from Somalia.

So, what is the similarity between all of them? Let's see ...

1. All of them rob, kidnap, and rape people on the sea.
2. All of them pillage every reachable coastal settlement.
3. The first 4 very actively involve with slavery. I am not surprised if the Somali pirates have the same hobby too.
4. The first 4 ended after some governments decided they have enough with them and finally kicked their ass, not only on the sea, but also on their hometown. The Somali pirates still run rampant because today's governments are too afraid to be called imperialist, so they only busted the pirate's ass on the sea.

Not very cool right? Especially for non-psychopath and non-sadist. 

Hey people, if you glorify the pirate age, you glorify all of their barbarities! It is not about "bad taste" it is about glorifying wrong things. Just think for awhile, what is the consequence if we glorify the holocaust. Ah yeah, we suddenly become a hero for the neo-nazi and salafist-wahabist. Bad example.

That is the only thing that bugs me from one of today's most popular anime/manga: ONE PIECE. Hey Lufffy/Ruffy, you are not a pirate. You are an adventurer! if you really are a pirate, start pillaging, throwing people from a plank, chaining people and sold them to slavery instead of helping them! If you really plan to be a pirate king, start pillaging and chaining MILLIONS of people! That is what a pirate do, anything as long as they got money and rum! They don't get all that treasures from honest trade, they got it after killing or selling people.

I am sure some people will say I can't hate anyone, hate is bad, bla bla bla. Bull!! To hate is human. Hate acts like a brake for a human, to stop that human from something. Like it or not, we need a brake. I hate to see innocent people robbed, killed, raped, and plundered by some douche from the sea, and I hate people who love to glorify those douche.

It is not hate that is bad, or wrong. It is hating some bullshit like different skin color, different gender, etc that is wrong.

Bom Atom Hiroshima-Nagasaki

Source: wikipedia

Salah 1 kontroversi terbesar abad 20 adalah bom atom Hiroshima-Nagasaki. Apakah keputusan menjatuhkan bom atom tsb adalah keputusan yang benar?

Jawaban singkatnya: keputusan pahit tapi yang terbaik.

Mari kita pikirkan alternatif²nya bila bom atom tak dijatuhkan.

Skenario 1, Jepang baru menyerah setelah Uni Soviet Menyerang:

Skenario pertama adalah skenario favoritnya Tsuyoshi Hasegawa. Menurut sejarawan Jepang ini, penyebab utama menyerahnya Jepang adalah serangan Uni Soviet. Beliau merasa, pemimpin² Jepang benar² merasa Uni Soviet bisa menjadi penengah dengan negara² sekutu lain, memungkinkan mereka mendapatkan perjanjian damai yang jauh lebih menguntungkan. Karena itulah mereka menolak menyerah, dan bom atompun dianggap kurang relevan. Karena itulah Hasegawa yakin pemimpin² Jepang baru kehilangan harapan dan memohon damai ketika "sang penengah" malah menyerang mereka. 

Anggaplah Hasegawa benar dan Jepang menyerah murni karena invasi Soviet, tanpa dijatuhkannya bom atom. Tanggal menyerahnya Jepang takkan sama. Suka tak suka, bom atom mempercepat menyerahnya Jepang. Ditundanya tanggal menyerah Jepang akan berakibat hebat sekali.

1) Jutaan orang akan mati. Ingat, pendudukan Jepang di Indonesia, Malaya, Cina, dll bukan pendudukan baik². Laksaan manusia tewas setiap harinya, jadi rasanya tak berlebihan menebak jutaan orang non-Jepang akan mati akibat kekejaman pasukan Jepang di koloni²nya, di jeda di antara 15 Agustus (Tanggal menyerahnya Jepang setelah dibom atom dan diserbu Uni Soviet) dan tanggal menyerahnya Jepang.

2) Uni Soviet sangat mungkin bukan cuma merebut Manchuria, Korea Utara, dan kepulauan Kuril, tapi juga Korea Selatan dan Hokkaido. Ini artinya tidak akan ada Korea Selatan, cuma ada Korea Utara yang meliputi Korea Selatan juga, dan akan ada "Republik Demokrasi Jepang" yang berkedudukan di Hokkaido. Mungkin saja kota Tokyo jadi akan terbagi 2 juga seperti kota Berlin pasca menyerahnya Jerman.

Tak begitu baguskan dibandingkan kenyataan? Jangan kawatir, ini baru skenario pertama ...

Skenario 2, Jepang menyerah setelah operasi Olympic dan Coronet

Di skenario kedua ini, Amerika Serikat dan sekutu²nya menginvasi Jepang dalam 2 operasi: Olympic (Merebut Kyushu) dan Coronet (Merebut Honshu) sementara saya asumsikan Hokkaido direbut Uni Soviet secara terpisah.

Ini artinya 2 akibat negatif skenario #1 terjadi, DITAMBAH korban jiwa akibat invasi. Ketika pihak Amerika Serikat memperhitungkan korban yg akan jatuh dalam operasi ini, mereka memperhitungkan mereka akan kehilangan 1 juta manusia. Perlu ditegaskan, 1 juta ini adalah korban di pihak sekutu saja. Pihak Jepang sendiri sudah memobilisasi SEMUA penduduknya. Anak² mereka saja diajari menggunakan bambu runcing menusuk perut tentara² sekutu yang mendarat di Jepang. Menghadapi perang total macam ini, tak berlebihan kalau saya bilang korban totalnya puluhan juta jiwa.

Skenario 3, Jepang menyerah tanpa operasi Olympic dan Coronet, tanpa invasi Soviet

Apa yang terjadi seandainya Jepang menyerah tanpa invasi sama sekali?  Jepang mustahil menyerah begitu saja cuma karena kehilangan Okinawa, Mariana, Filipina, Irian, dan Pasifik Tengah. Satu²nya cara membuat Jepang menyerah adalah dengan meneruskan bombardemen udara & laut, sambil memblokadenya, memastikan tak ada bahan mentah atau makanan yang memasuki tanah air Jepang.

Skenario ini berarti tanggal menyerahnya Jepang MUNDUR lagi. Korban di kalangan sekutu bisa diminimalisir, tapi korban sipil Jepang akan terus berjatuhan. Seperti kota² yang dikepung, pulau² Jepang akan dilanda kelaparan, penyakit, dll. Entah butuh waktu berapa lama sampai Jepang benar² menyerah. Artinya, korban jiwa di pulau² Jepang dan koloni² Jepang akan bertambah lagi. 

Sudah jelaskan, skenario apapun yang terjadi tidak terlihat bagus.

Bom atom Hiroshima-Nagasaki sudah pasti membunuh ribuan penduduk 2 kota itu, tapi di saat yang sama menghindari jutaan korban akibat 3 skenario di atas. Jangan salahkan presiden Truman menjatuhkan bom tsb, salahkan petinggi² Jepang yang terobsesi pada Bushido, pada "Kehormatan" pada prinsip "lebih baik mati daripada menyerah!" Seandainya pemerintah Jepang memang rasional, memang perduli pada nasib rakyatnya, mereka sudah menyerah paling lambat saat Filipina jatuh, saat mereka kehilangan akses ke ladang² minyak di Kalimantan, sementara kapal² terbang Amerika dari Mariana membombardir Jepang.

The Pure Innocent Happy Natives

I already stated my opinion about the "pure innocent natives" myth when I reviewed "James Cameron's Avatar" in my "Most Disappointing Movies" article. In that review, basically I said the natives is not really innocent, they could be as nasty as modern people and more. 

But recently one of my facebook friend shared the photo on the right. That brings another Luddite argument: 

"They are happier than us!"

What a joke. 

I could start by saying "Ignorance is a bliss." Other than that I could list another "NOs".

Another List of NOs

No philosophers to point out the flaws of these societies.

No books to improve your knowledge.

No method to spread knowledge widely and quickly.

No way to communicate with people on the other side of the planet.

No food from other regions/countries, only the same old boring food that your ancestor cook.

No cure for tons of nasty diseases.

No police to defend you. That makes "No crime or prisons" means "might is right," or "law of the jungle." What do you expect?

No defense against modern army. The "No stress No Bombs" become no longer true once these people meet some psychopaths with automatic weapons and gunship. By the way, I need to restate my previous argument: primitive people can and have mutilate each other just fine with their bows and arrows.

Here is a concrete example for the last 2 NOs, taken from Jared Diamond's book Guns Germs and Steel page 277. Diamond interviewed the women from Iyau Tribe in Papua. When asked about their husband their typical answer is: "Which one? I had 3 husbands. The first one died after another tribe attacked us. The second one died after my third husband killed him. The third one died after the brother of my 2nd husband avenged his brother." No wonder Diamond mocked the myth of "innocent natives" in that same page!

I could go on, but I am sure you got the point. What? You still think their way of life is more advanced?

Tell you what, talk is cheap. Put your money where your mouth is. Lenin once said "people vote with their feet." If you think that their way of life is so "advance," just give away all your belongings, go back to the jungle and join them. Come again? You prefer the comfortable modern life? That means you're "No Action Talk Only" in this matter.

Disrespect

Oh yeah, I also get some response that I have to respect them, and telling that they are primitive is a form of disrespect.

Err ... I respect them by treated them like an adult who can take criticism well. I respect them by NOT suggesting them to emulate an ostrich, avoiding all contact with modern civilization. Contact between those people and us is INEVITABLE, so better let them prepared for it.

Oh yeah, I also NEVER stated that we can't learn anything from them. I am sure we can learn many things from them, but learning from them IS NOT THE SAME with saying that their way of life is superior to ours. And I am sure, they can even learn MORE from us, since our ancestors already experienced their way of life, while theirs haven't experienced our current way of life.

I also showing respect by expecting them to progress, not to be static, locked in hunter-gatherer way of life forever, totally dependent on us to defend themselves. If that is not respect, I don't know what is.

Multiculturalism
This kind of argument usually made by "Multiculturalist" who thought that all cultures are equal, and we have to put each culture in a bubble to make sure they remain unchanged forever. No they are not. Some culture generally is more primitive from the others. Culture is also dynamic, evolving and changing, not static.  Sometimes it is not the whole culture itself that is primitive, but only some aspect of it. But a multiculturalist doesn't want to hear that. They perceived cultures as museum exhibitions where each exhibition has to be "static." They never perceive human as human, who are always changing, can do wrong, and have to be scrutinized and corrected.  Hopefully this article debunk the dangerous tenet of "multiculturalism."

So what are you waiting for? Start respecting them by helping them to overcome the 3000 years of lack of scientific and technological progress! You could start by NOT glorifying their current way of life.

Amerika, HAM, dan RRC

Sebelumnya saya sudah bilang, demokrasi bukan panacea semua masalah tapi absennya demokrasi hampir pasti membunuh kemajuan. Demokrasi adalah sine qua non kemajuan.

Lalu, saya membaca sebuah berita dari detik.com tentang RRC tak senang mendengarkan pernyataan Hillary Clinton soal demokrasi. Lagu lama. Biar saya terjemahkan beberapa hal dari artikel tsb.

Ditulis:

"Siapa yang memberi Amerika hak untuk secara arogan mengkritik status demokrasi di Asia?"

"Amerika bukan hakim soal HAM untuk dunia dan Asia. Tak ada sistem umum yang cocok untuk semua negara,"

Dibaca:

"Hei, biarkan kami membungkam semua kritik di negara kami! Biarkan kami menindas rakyat kami! Kamu orang luar tak punya hak untuk mengritik kami!"

Dan makin lucunya artikel itu ditutup dengan:

"Benar bahwa memberantas ekspresi politik atau mempertahankan kontrol ketat atas apa yang dibaca orang atau dikatakan atau dilihat orang bisa menciptakan ilusi keamanan. Namun ilusi akan pudar, karena kerinduan orang untuk kebebasan tidak akan pudar," kata Hillary beberapa hari lalu.

Saat itu Hillary memang tidak menyebut nama China, namun menurut People's Daily, komentar tersebut jelas-jelas ditujukan ke para pemimpin China."

Komentar saya:

BERASA NIH YEEE!!

Gini deh para pemimpin RRC ... siapa yang memberikan kalian hak secara arogan untuk mengontrol segenap birokrasi, hukum, dan rakyat kalian? Siapa yang memberikan kalian status "Kebal kritik"? Hmm? Jawaban paling pro pemerintah RRC yang bisa saya pikirkan, yang tidak melibatkan ngarang² adalah "Rakyat Cina di akhir 1940an." Itu 60 tahunan yang lalu. 2-3 generasi yang lalu. Basi banget. Di sekolah, seorang siswa diuji setiap tahunnya apakah dia pantas naik kelas atau tidak. Di perusahaan, seorang karyawan terus menerus di evaluasi oleh bosnya. Terus, di RRC ini ada sebuah partai politik yang menguasai semua lapisan birokrasinya selama 60 tahun lebih tanpa di evaluasi oleh pihak lain dan mereka bicara soal arogansi?

Amerika tidak sempurna. Amerika juga sering memberlakukan standard ganda, kemunafikan, kesalahan, dll. Namun, bukan berarti omongan menteri luar negerinya bisa langsung diasumsikan "arogan" atau salah.

Apa? Masih menganggap Amerika arogan karena mereka "mencampuri urusan negara lain" karena mereka "meng-injak² kedaulatan nasional"?? News flash: kedaulatan nasional itu OVERRATED.

The Most Disappointing Movies

After listing the most badass movies, now I want to list the most disappointing movies I have ever watched chronologically. WARNING, this page is very political, if you are a sensitive who can't stand strong words or different opinions LEAVE NOW! You have been warned:

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Directed by: Michael Bay.

I am a history buff with soft spot for World War II and battleships. That's why I LOVE "Tora Tora Tora" so much! That's why I highly anticipated "Pearl Harbor". Note: at that time, I don't have any clue that "Directed by Michael Bay" equals to "Big explosions with stupid plots to connect each of them." Boy, I was extremely pissed when they wasted hours and hours of the movie for a love triangle! 

Hey asshole, if you want to put a love triangle in so many screentime in a World War II movie like this, make sure that bitch die horribly, like for example, receiving a 1000-pound bomb in her vagina, while those 2 losers eat her shit to prove their love, THEN I WILL GIVE YOUR MOVIE 2 THUMBS UP! The Pearl Harbor attack is about hundreds of Japanese airplanes blowing up American ships, rains of bombs, torpedo ripping ships, BULLET STORM, not love! For this movie MAKE WAR, NOT LOVE, retards!

Shortest description of this movie: whining melodramatic pussy!

The Last Samurai (2003)

Directed by: Edward Zwick

Before I watched "The Last Samurai," I had high hopes too. Edward Zwick was an excellent director. His movie "Glory" was not historically accurate 100%, but it did justice for every warrior it depicted, unlike the whiny-melodramatic-pussy "Pearl Harbor." But, looks like I am still very naive at that time, since I kid myself that a Caucasian can be "A Last Samurai." Oh yeah, it is also about a love story between the caucasian with a japanese woman whose husband was killed by him. Douche ...

And the "Caucasian samurai" is the least of my problem. The biggest problem with this movie is about one of its main character who was played by Ken Watanabe. Saigo Takamori, the Japanese big-shot who become the base of that character, is a war wackie. He was against the building of railways since he thought all money should be used to build the military. He suggested the Japanese at that time to INVADE KOREA. As the cassus belli, he proposed to send HIMSELF as an ambassador to insult the Koreans. Yup, he planned to personally insult the Korean as terrible as possible, provoking them to kill him. The government of that time thought this idea was nuts. His reaction to them was: "FUCK YOU PUSSIES, you don't deserve to lead this country!" He went back to his hometown, gathering all similar-minded samurai, inciting a rebellion, and starting the Seinan War. After the Japanese government crushed him, they suddenly realized, he was right! They admit that they are just pussies, and follow his advice by annexing Korea, then invading China, followed by sneak-attacking the Russians, beat the shit out of the outnumbered Germans in China, and finally of course ... gave USA the low-blow in Pearl Harbor. All of this to put Japan on its rightful place: as the leader of Asia!

So, contrary to the movie, the problem of the Japanese was not "the lost of the samurai spirit". Their problem was, they are too fucking proud to admit that those Samurai like Saigo are obnoxious-bloodthirsty-douchebags who dragged their country and the whole East Asia region to hell. Good for us the United States finally kicked their ass during the 2nd World War, showing that "Samurai Spirit" is no match against industrial superiority.

So, in essence, "Pearl Harbor" is like a whining pussy, while "The Last Samurai" is like a testosterone poisoned monkey who is too eager to throw shit to other monkeys, AND the people who glorify them.

Shortest description of this movie: Testosterone poisoned-shit throwing-monkey!

The Forbidden Kingdom (2008)

Wow, Jet Li and Jackie Chan in the same movie? This is a kungfu porn! Unfortunately that is not the case. I already put my expectation for the plot as low as possible, but the plot is not only "low." It is insulting my intelligence! Can you imagine how a group of monks could charge a fortress full with thousands of heavenly warriors, going through all of its defense until they reached it main hall, WITHOUT sounding one single alarm? Oh yeah, those monks also carried JACKIE CHAN ON A STRETCHER!!

That's it, the plot is not only bad, it is insulting! Dude, if you really want to make a movie about Jackie Chan and Jet Li fighting, just make a tournament movie without any backstory. That movie would be stupid, but at least NOT INSULTING OUR INTELLIGENCE!

Shortest description of this movie: Lobotomized idiot script writer!

Transformer: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
Directed by: Michael Bay

The first Transformer is a very good movie. Unlike other Michael Bay movies, it is very enjoyable, I root for the protagonists, the joke works, etc. That's why I really eager to watch the second Transformer movie. Just like before I watched "Forbidden Kingdom," I never expect the plot to be good. I even joked it was okay for me to watched the Autobots trying to rob a retirement home, while the Decepticons try to defend it. I just want to watch some giant robots beating each other! And I am still disappointed.

This is not a movie, but a mess, a trainwreck. After an hour watching it, my head starts spinning. Once its credit was rolling, my head can't stop drilling, imploding, and exploding at the same time. The giant robots really beat each other but it is as if you are strapped into one of their fist! Hey Michael Bay, a battle scene only works if the audience CAN FOLLOW what happens! If the scene caused the audience headache, that means the director's sucks ass!

Oh yeah, some fighting scenes is also non-sensical. One example: Why the Decepticon tried to kill Optimus Prime in an open field using a blade? Why not rained some rockets, bullets, and beam to that do-gooder face? Hey idiots, you came from Cybertron, not Middle-Earth! Don't mix it!

Shortest description of this movie: Headache!

Avatar (2009)
Directed by: James Cameron

I know, I know, I only watch this movie to see the newest moviemaking technology, but its naive-cliche-leftist-peaceniks-treehugging preaching is just too much for me!

What? You don't understand why i called this movie "naive-cliche bla bla bla preaching"? Let me guess ... You thought that the whiteman always exploited the "pure and innocent natives" right?

Folks, "always victimized and innocent natives" IS A MYTH! Do you seriously think that all the natives in America, Africa, Australia, etc. sit together around a campfire and sing Kumbaya every night before the whiteman came? Nope, they busting each other skulls, spearing each other chest, looting each other settlement, etc. They harassed other tribes, drove each other from fertile areas, raped each other women, etc. What about the Aztecs and the Inca who already has empire? Are you freaking kidding me? They were the guys who SACRIFICE HUMAN as part of their religion! I am no fans of Christianity, but at least the Jesus religion already realized that human sacrifice should be stopped.

Not convinced yet? Predictable. Many leftist-treehuggers love "nature" more than fellow humans. Let me inform you that the natives of the Easter Island devastated its forest BEFORE the first whiteman touched Easter's Island soil. Somalia was once a green area. It was not the European who cut down all the trees, it was the natives. Still think that all indigenous tribes are wise-innocent folks?

OF COURSE! Blaming the local-indigenous people is not "hip" or "trendy" or "cool" or ... whatever. The left and the green are both already indoctrinated that every single wrongs in this world was due to the greedy whitemen! This kind of indoctrination and prejudice was strengthened by stupid movies like "Avatar."

But WAIT! That is not the only myth Cameron wanted to perpetuate! There is also another myth: the "Every military personnel is a warmonger & baby-killer" Myth! Leftists hates military. Yeah, we got it. So, they use every single chance to create one dimensional-evil military characters. Where does this myth come from? I suggest you read Samuel Huntington's Ph.D. dissertation: "The Soldier and the State." He recognized the clash between the left and the military is because of the contrast of their initial assumption of human nature. Leftist think naively that all humans are basically good, while military think pessimistically that all humans has bestial root. I think both of them have valid points. Humans could become a beast, and a saint. But NO, many (or all?) leftist refuse to admit that the military has some valid points, and start preaching bullshit like "world peace" and "the best war is worse than the worse peace." Stupid, stupid, stupid! Hey looney, have you ever paused and THINK what kind of peace will come if there is no war against Hitler? Against Imperial Japan? That's why Sam Harris said "A psychopath with a blunt knife could slaughter a village of pacifists."

The (true-professional) military is smarter in this regard: they think that war is inevitable, so it is stupid to start a war, but it is very wise to prepare for one. Don't believe me? Do you remember that the German military basically told Hitler that he need to COOL DOWN and forget about his plan of conquest? Or when the communist politicians in Soviet Union  were eager to annihilate all the capitalists country with nuclear warheads, it was the military who inform them what "nuclear winter" and "nuclear retaliation" means. Also same in the US. During the first gulf war, the military was actually reluctant to invade Iraq. During the Clinton administration, it was Madeline Albright who said "What's the point of having a miltary if you don't use it?" NOT the generals. Or the admirals. Huntington already predicted that. Professional soldiers are pessimists because they will always counsel his government that the military IS NOT ready for a war.

Maybe as a counterargument, a leftist will say that it was the militaristic Japanese Army and Navy who drove Japan to many wars. Huntington already predicted that counter-argument too. Japanese military were not driven by military logic. Remember my previous rant about Saigo Takamori? Japanese generals and admirals were driven by some über-macho-chauvinistic-warrior code of the samurai. Only their best leader, Admiral Yamamoto Isoroku, tried to persuade others that a war against the US is a suicide.

A true professional soldier will fight for his country, for his people, not for his company or his salary. If Cameron contrasted the typical "baby-killer" soldier with true-professional soldiers, I will give him some credits. But no, he decided to contrast the baby-killers with 2 traitors. Typical ...

Shortest description of this movie: naive-cliche-leftist-peaceniks-treehugging preaching!

Rampant Stupidities

We live in an imperfect world. Many stupid things still running despite the obvious stupidity. Blame it on inertia. Blame it on pride. Blame it on chauvinism. Whatever. These are some of those stupidities:

QWERTY Keyboard

Have you ever wonder why our keyboard has QWERTY layout? Answer: it is a legacy layout from our typewriter. Basically, they designed this layout to handicap you, to make sure you never type too fast. With a good reason. At that time, you may not type too fast, since the ancient typewriter typebars could tangled with each others.

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Qwerty.svg

Enter modern keyboard ... the typebars problem is not relevant anymore, but we still use the QWERTY layout. Actually, we already have a SUPERIOR layout: the Dvorak layout. Unlike the QWERTY, the Dvorak layout was designed to make typing as easy and as fast as possible. I assure you, all typist who broke world record of typing used Dvorak layout. Another big bonus: changing to Dvorak keyboard eliminate "Carpal Tunnel Syndrome."

There is one important note. Since Dvorak designed based on English, it won't be that effective if you are typing in other language. You have to re-arrange every keys.

So, if Dvorak is so superior, why only few people used them? Simple: because we are heavily invested in QWERTY. All standard keyboards are QWERTY keyboards. Computer shortcuts was designed with QWERTY keyboard in mind, etc. This is what I call INERTIA. It is hard to change, even when change is superior, when the inferior status quo is so deeply rooted.


Internet Ads

Advertising is not really stupid per se. But some internet advertisers decided that their adverts has to obstruct the material that bring people to that particular site. You know what I mean. An ad in front of a picture! An ad that make sure that you can't read the article! Sometimes they even have the nerve to make the obstructing ads BLINKING and JUMPING! Nobody likes an obstruction. No, that is not strong enough. Everyone hates obstruction. That is more appropriate. Hated ads won't be as effective as non-intrusive ads. But millions of internet advertisers haven't figure that one.


Family Name Position
Some language, e.g.: Chinese & Japanese, put family name first. Some other language, e.g.: English & Spanish, put family name last. Both location are valid. What I don't get is, why in English writing sometimes they wrote a Japanese or Chinese name with family name LAST. So looks like they really thought that putting your family name is the superior method right? WRONG!! When they write a bibliography, they suddenly they put the family name first. MAKE UP YOUR MIND for heaven's sake ...


American Date

The Japanese put theirs in this order: YYYY/MM/DD. The Germans wrote their date like this: DD.MM.YYYY. So does most other people in the world. They put it in sequential way, from the largest denominator to the smallest or vice versa. Quite logical. The Japanese way make it easier to arrange your file chronologically. Although the German way doesn't have that advantage, it is still a sequence. So everybody doing it like that, right? WRONG. The Americans write their date like: MM/DD/YYYY. It is stupid. Very stupid. I can't think any advantage or logical explanation for this stupid method.


Imperial Units

Pop Quiz: please convert 100 kilometers into meters. Easy right? Just add 3 more zeroes and you got 100 km = 100.000 m.
Now, please convert 100 miles into feet. Go on ... you need some time? Take your time. I'm waiting. Okay, here it is if you give up: 100 miles = 528.000 feet.
How about converting that 100.000 meter into hectometer? Yup, just substract 2 zeroes, and you got 100.000 m = 1000 hm.
Now, please convert that 528.000 feet into yards. Hmm, that takes time ... ok ... found it? Yup, 528.000 feet = 176.000 yard.
See how easy it is conversion between metric units? See how idiotic the conversion between imperial units? So why the hell the Americans & British still sticks to the Imperial Units? My guess, this is because of their pride. They are too proud to admit that their units sucks while the European units kickass.


Chinese alphabets/Kanji

Okay, enough pointing out the stupidity of the Americans. Time to point out the stupidity in the Orient. I save this for the last because arguably it is the biggest one.

Basically, Chinese hieroglyphic alphabets take LONGER to master, and it make typing & sorting far more difficult. To overcome this problem, the Chinese government create "simplified Chinese" characters AND "Hanyu Pinyin" (The official rule how to write your Chinese words with Latin alphabet.). Despite that objective fact, most Chinese are proud of their alphabet.

Here is a funny fact: everybody's ancestors wrote like that. Long time ago, all of them draw a picture to represent each word. But somewhere in the past, one of them said "Hey, I have a better idea, how if we draw a picture to represent each sound instead of each word?" and they left their hieroglyphic alphabets.

You know why when other people already got rid of their stupid hieroglyphic alphabets the Chinese stick to theirs? Because they are proud that this method is several millenniums old. They also sure that they are the center of the universe. Oh yeah, for them other cultures are barbarism and other peoples are barbarians. They still have tons of arguments, but you got their basic point: CHAUVINISM. Read John T Reed article on this for more detail.

Unlike when I pointed out the stupidity of Americans, I EXPERIENCED this stupidity first hand for some years since I am genetically a Chinese who grow up reading Chinese literatures that brags how great their civilization, while most "Chinese" nods in unison, agreeing with this ancient chauvinism.

BTW, I have to put emphasis on the word "genetically" because many "Chinese" consider people who can't speak Chinese is not a true Chinese. Even worse, many "Chinese" consider every people WITHOUT Chinese blood is always a barbarian, even when they managed to speak and write in Chinese. My suggestion to my genetic brothers: stop your chauvinism and realize that you are not the center of the world. Be humble for Heaven's sake! The Hanyu Pinyin is already pointing to that direction. FINALLY!! It is around 3000 years late, but better late than never!

That's it from me. Did I miss anything? Probably. Too many stupid things went rampant in this imperfect world.