Being and Stay Single

Being single is not easy for anybody's social life. You know the routine, friends, relatives, even close families often think that they have the right to order every single people. Like usual, the order is ALWAYS masquerade as questions like "Where is your girl/boyfriend?" or "When will you marry?". You know, questions that were asked in passive-aggressive tone. Most single people will just shut their mouth even though they are pissed by those orders. Not me. I already prepared an elaborate answer that shut the hell up of everyone who dare to give me those "perfectly camouflaged" order.

Middle Spot

Folks, let me remind you of 2 facts:

1) A good relationship is INFINITELY BETTER than being single.

2) A bad relationship is INFINITELY WORSE than being single.

Society remembers the #1, this is one of the reason they keep nagging, demanding that all single people have to have relationship. At the same time, society know perfectly well but ignore or forget #2. This 2 polar opposite facts bring us to the conclusion:

Being single is located IN THE MIDDLE of the happiness curve.

And, what is so bad about being in the middle? I heard "everything have to be in moderation" is today's mantra for happiness? That is not all. This sweet spot in the middle is even sweeter than you thought! Usually that is enough to deter those pesky friends & families, but in case they still insist ...

Calmness is good

There is also the problem that arise from the dynamic nature of a relationship. Some relationship can turn from good to bad in a second. And, it is not only the "bad relationship" that hurts, the downward movement from good to bad is EVEN WORSE! Just ask people who have been through divorce. So, people who stay single by intent, avoid all those dramas. They consciously choose to live in the calmness of the middle spot, without any movement anywhere for awhile. That calmness actually enhances the happiness! The only thing that can disturb that calmness, that sea of tranquility, is the pesky-nagging friends and relatives. 

It is not that all single people must stay single, to defend the "calmness" forever. Single people can also decide to take a risk, and seek for "mr/mrs right" and finally have a good relationship. But it is THEIR decision when and how to do it, not their friends, not their family. And let's speak about family.

Family

Oh, you are their family so you think you have the right to covertly order them? You LOVE to give them a lot of "between the lines" to be read by anyone in your family that is still single? Let me ask you this question philosophical question: 

IS IT YOUR LIFE OR THEIR LIFE?! 

Ordering anyone to have romantic relationship is easy. Making any relationship works isn't. Unfortunately, those people who give the order are not the one who suffer once the relationship gone sour. Who do you think will receive the shits when they are forced to date or, heaven's forbid, marry someone they don't like only because of social pressure? Not you, not their family, it is THEY WHO SUFFER. 

A sensible strategy

Found this quote from Niall Horan shortly before I finished this
article..He got it right.

What? You said I am too pessimistic? I don't count the potential rewards of a good relationship? Screw that, society already screaming about those rewards ad nauseam with bullhorns. It is time to for me to scream back:

"HELLO, 50% of all marriages have ended in DIVORCE! Thinking about a relationship gone sour before it happens is not pessimistic, it is realistic and rational! Any risk manager will agree with me!"

It is the opposite, people who don't calculate that risk, even after being reminded, are the one who is ignorant, or delusional, or both. 

So, stop worrying! Being single and consciously choosing to stay single is actually a sensible risk-management strategy!


Bonus: The Oatmeal already pointed out similar phenomena about having children

My Dream Car

I am appalled. Whenever I asked most men about their ultimate dream car, most of them answer with sport cars. You know, like:

Lamborghini Aventador? Pff, too regular.

Ferrari F12Berlinetta? It looks like an asshole.

Porsche 911? Are you kiddin me? That car is smaller than my fist!

Aston Martin whatever? Too snobbish.

Bugatti Veyron? Zzzzz ... snore ...

Let me list the reasons why ANY sport car sucks in my city, Jakarta:

1) Maneuverability 

The streets in Jakarta are simply too crowded. That's why you have to be brave to drive in Jakarta whenever you want to move your car to the next lane in a traffic jam. No, don't even try to shout, or scream, or pushing your horn. It is just useless. You only need to hit your gas pedal whenever you see an opening, whatever your distance to the next cars Good luck trying to do that with your Aston Martin! I bet your heart would scream far whenever you think about it. Speaking about crowded streets ...

2) Speed

That means you can't drive faster than 25 kmph. Even in some special cases whenever the streets were empty, you would hit some speed-bumps or holes or even a simple uneven surface. That would damaged your chassis in a blink of an eye. Just imagine your Ferrari's chassis got hit from below by a sledgehammer or pneumatic drill REPEATEDLY. Here, use my tissue to clean-up your tears. You'll need it!

3) Flooding

Other than that, until today (2014) flooding is still a routine problem in Jakarta. Try to run through 0,5 meter flood with your Bugatti Veyron. Picture the moment when dirty-black-waters of Jakarta flooded the gas-guzzling engine of your Bugatti Veyron. Here, I still have more tissues!

4) Criminals

Oh, driving those expensive sport cars would also draw attention of many criminals. You know, carjacks, robbers armed with axe, even corrupt policemen. Picture the moment when you and your sport cars got robbed by one of those criminals. NOT MANLY AT ALL!! BTW, looks like even all my tissues can't help you any longer ...

5) Capacity

The most popular cars in Jakarta are family cars. You know, cars where you bring not only your wife and children, but also your bro's wife, and his children too! Try to put all of that in your Porsche. Unless your  and your bro's whole family are clown by profession, that is just simply impossible! What, your dream cars can't even be used to transport your family? Man, your dream car sucks!

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That's why none of those cars can hold the candle for my favorite car: GAZ BTR-80.

What? You never heard that name before? That's because most men were too busy eating up all the hype for those USELESS sport cars. That's because most men forget that utility ALWAYS beats fashion. Substance ALWAYS beats style. Their ears become deaf whenever a true dream car, like mine, arrive. Here let me give you its picture:

Here, let me put some of its specs (from wikipedia):

Specifications
Weight	13.6 tonnes (15.0 tons)
Length	7.7 m (25.3 ft)
Width	2.9 m (9.5 ft)
Height	2.41 m (7.9 ft)
Crew	3 (+7 passengers)

Engine	diesel KamAZ-7403 260 hp (190 kW)

Speed	80-90 km/h (49.7–55.9 m/h) swim 10 km/h (6.2 m/h)

Now, let's check those problems that make any sport car sucks again, shall we?

1) Crowded street and maneuverability

No need for arguing, screaming, or horn-pushing. A slight glance from anyone will convince them to give you ANY space! It is either YOUR WAY or the HARD WAY.

2) Speed

Read #1. With BTR-80, you just hit your gas pedal, and you'll brake for no one. Speed bumps? Holes? Uneven roads? Who cares, you are driving an 8 wheel drive armored battle vehicle!

3) Flooding

If you read the specs above carefully, you'll notice that it has 10 kmph swimming speed. Yes, BTR-80  can swim. Yes, IT REALLY CAN SWIM. 

4) Criminals

What kind of criminal dare to touch a combat vehicle? A soon-dead criminal, that's who.

5) Capacity

See the specs above? It can drive 10 people inside. Since the space is huge, you can also bring your whole family AND both yours and theirs motorcycles for examples.

Plus, there is a big bonus for every dad who owns a BTR-80.

Just imagine, everytime you drive your son to their school, EVERYONE would be awed. "Mercedes S Class? BMW? Lexus? Rolls Royce? You still can't beat my dad's BTR-80!"

Here, use my tissue to wipe your manly tears from your manly eyes. You'll need it.

BTW, I guess some of you will argue that Hummer already doing everything in my list. Not really.  Are you and your Hummer brave enough to run THROUGH Jakarta's traffic jam? Can your hummer ignore Indonesian road holes? Can your Hummer swim, I mean CAN IT REALLY SWIM? Is Hummer criminalproof? Can your Hummer bring you and 9 of your friends/families? NO, NO, NO, NO, AND NO!! So screw your Hummer too!

QED: Objectively, my dream car can objectively kick any of your dream car's buttocks anytime, anywhere, especially in Jakarta. Unlike sport cars, for BTR-80, style isn't exist to mask the absence of substance. It is the opposite, it is its utility, its substance that creates, permeates, and radiates style, MANLY STYLE!

Addendum 13.09.2014: I really envy this guy. At the same time, guys like him are those who give me hope for the future of mankind!

5 Reasons to Learn Mandarin ... and My Comments

I already stated my reason why Mandarin is stupid. And again.

So, it is only proper to comment on people who learn Mandarin. No, not only to comment, but also to judge. 

1) Because you were born in People's Republic of China/Singapore/Taiwan
Congrats! You just win a jackpot! Unlike any other people YOU will learn Mandarin as your native language! I assume that cut downs the difficulty level AT LEAST 60%. I really hope you consider to scrap that writing system of yours. You know, your logogram writing system ...


2) Because they have fallen in love with it!

No contest.

There is no accounting for taste. These people usually are fascinated, fallen in love with Mandarin because the beauty of the logogram script, DESPITE knowing how difficult they are. I say, GO FOR IT! It is always refreshing, empowering, and comforting to do things that you love!! All the problems and difficulties become fun if you really fallen in love with the language.

Nevertheless, we have to remember, some of these people refuse to admit the difficulties in Mandarin. They just assume that everyone will fall in love in it like them, and consider the difficulties irrelevant.
Also, many people fall into some confirmation bias. They can and have fall out of love of Mandarin once they face the staggering problems, but they refuse to admit it! I still love it dammit, and I still enjoy this! NO IT IS NOT DIFFICULT!

So be really careful when you ask opinion from people who "love Mandarin".

3) Because it is important!

The importance of Mandarin is undeniable. So is the fact that our time, energy, and money are limited. If you really want to master Mandarin, you will wasted YEARS or even DECADES. That means, you can already master say ... Spanish and Russian if you use that time, energy and money you spend on learning Mandarin. That means although Mandarin is arguably the 2nd most important foreign language, your energy can be used to learn the 3rd and 4th most important one, with less frustration and with similar, or even more, benefit.

Oh by the way, isn't it more efficient and effective if it were the Chinese who learn English/French/any other non-logogram language? Just sayin here ...

And you can't be Chinese, even after you speak and write Mandarin fluently. Seriously. Even overseas Chinese (See reason #5) have problems to be considered "Chinese" by many mainland Chinese AFTER mastering Mandarin. If you are a caucasian or african or South Asians, or any other people that distinctively NOT CHINESE, you will be considered similar to a monkey that can play piano. You know,"Nice tricks there, but you will only marry my daughter OVER MY DEAD BODY!" mentality.

4) Because your parents order you! No, order is not strong enough. Because your parents FORCE YOU!

News flash: you are a victim of child abuse. Seriously. What kind of parents forced their children to memorize thousands and thousands of symbol? What kind of parents obligated their children to learn a language that causes a pain in the neck whenever we use its dictionary? The time, energy, and money can be used for other things like ... learning Spanish, Swahili, and MANY other foreign languages!

Usually parents do that because they underestimate Mandarin. Show them this article and the links. Hopefully that would enlighten them.

5) Because you are a "Chinese"! An overseas Chinese BUT STILL A CHINESE!

In "Bahasa Indonesia" there is a word that is hard to translate to English: "Bebal". Usually people translate it into "foolish". Nope, it is different. A foolish person is a person who can't learn. A "bebal" person is a person who REFUSE TO LEARN.

Until today, Chinese culture IS A "BEBAL" CULTURE!! Every other people on earth already realized using a symbol for every single word is very stupid. That's why centuries or even milennias ago they created alphabet/abjad/abugida/syllabary. How the Chinese react to this difficulty? Chinese are smart and clever, they surely notice this, right? Nope. They say how PROUD they are of their "3000 years history." They are proud because their "heavenly language" permeates a high culture, unlike the "stupid alphabets" from the non-Chinese aka barbarians.

Yeah right. Sounds like 3000 years of refusal to learn to me. 

Now, YOU as a "modern Chinese" want to perpetuate this monstrosity and smugness voluntarily? SERIOUSLY?! Are you high?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My tips: if you learn Mandarin because reason #3 - #5 and HAVE TO learn Mandarin, SKIP THE STUPID LOGOGRAM! Just learn the Hanyu Pinyin romanization and the spoken language. The tonal nature of Mandarin already poses a challenge. No need to compound it with memorizing symbols in thousands. If reading those logograms is an absolute necessity, you can learn it AFTER you master the speaking and the Hanyu Pinyin.

Oh by the way, I don't want to put "bebal" label on any culture. That's why I really hoped that China can change and ditch that terrible logogram. I assure you, more people will learn Chinese after that. I assure you too, native speakers will learn to write FASTER than ever! Move the study of logogram into "classical Chinese", to the hobbyists only domain. Spare us, laymen, the horror.


Further reading:
Don't Learn Mandarin
Why Chinese is so Damn Hard

ISIS, ISIL, IS, Whatever

Some thugs just use brutal methods to carve some territory for themselves. They are so brutal that even Al Qaeda denounces them. Naturally this development alarmed many. Even people outside the Middle East are afraid of the new flow of terrorists. Do these thugs have any chance? Nah, they have ZERO percent chance of succeeding AT LEAST for two reasons:

1) Air Power

First, their success is due to governments everywhere underestimating them. Or in case of Syria, too busy to fight other threats. They are successful because they move in small numbers, making big powers with air supremacy unable to find and pounce them from the sky. Not anymore. Their success has made them cocky, moving in big numbers, with banners waving, providing targets for any ground attack aircraft! The Iraqi government just buy 25 Su-25 Frogfoots to do just that. How can ISIS react to such fury unleashed by these gunships? How can they stop gunships, heavy bombers, and other modern military equipments, bought from Russia or other countries, from massacring their warriors? They have no chance. Just ask Saddam Hussein army, they know the taste of fighting open war against first rate power with aerial supremacy.

2) No Money No Honey
Second, their source of income are multiple, but ultimately rest on their ability to loot Iraq and Syria. Once the Russians etc crush ISIS army (see #1), no chance in hell they can have this kind of money again. Without money, no terror organization can survive. Just ask the communist parties and rebels around the world after the collapse of USSR. Just ask how dependent the jihad recruiters schools on foreign money. They will resort to local donation. Good luck convincing Muslims to donate after the spectacular "WE WILL DESTORY KA'BAH" proclamation.


Ultimately, ISIS will fail because they are just too abhorrent, too cruel, too barbaric, even for Al Qaeda taste. When you burn everything around, everybody will go beyond afraid. Everybody will hate you and stop you. Violently. Looks like such simple logic escapes the hotshots in ISIS.

The Scariest Computer Company

Take a guess! I am sure many of you will have the same answer with me! I am sure many will also answer differently. My guess most people will think that Apple with its cult-like devotees. Others will think it is Facebook because it is the main threat to our privacy. Or the old hegemon, Microsoft, who still ruled the OS Market of desktop and still big as hell. Nope, they are not the scariest. You can guess now which company I am talking about right?

No contest. It is Google.

Yes, Google is even scarier than Apple, Facebook, & MS. Here is why:

1) Can you avoid Google?

I never buy or use any Apple product. Result: I save tons of money! Hurra!

I use Facebook all the time, but I can imagine I never use it anymore. On some busy days, I didn't touch Facebook for the whole day and nothing bad happens.

Oh Microsoft? 10-15 years ago it was impossible to avoid, but now you can use MacOS or Linux or Unix to avoid Windows; Open Office or Libre Office to avoid MS Office; Opera, Firefox, Lunascape, and many other browsers to avoid Internet Explorer, etc.

Try to avoid Google. Everyday I use Youtube, Google search, Gmail, Google Book, Google Scholar, and Google Translate. Millions used smartphones powered by Android. Millions depend on Google maps. NO FREAKIN WAY we can avoid Google in totality even only for a day.

2) Has Google failed spectacularly?

Apple lost its market share in the 1990s. Steve Jobs was fired during that era. More recently, Apple Maps sucks. Steve Jobs renaissance is great for Apple, but after his death, Apple surely lost its mojo, and I don't expect them to be as successful as his time. Not scary.

Facebook spend 1 billion Dollar to buy Instagram. Their business model is questionable at best. They only manage to make money recently. Not scary.

Microsoft Zune crash and burn, while Microsoft Windows slowly lose its relevance. Not scary at all.

Let's see ... GoogleTV failed ... that's it? Is there any other notable fail from Google? Not that I can think of! Wait, wait, I know, what you think, Google+ is Google's most spectacular failure right? Check #5.

3) Has any of them capability to watch your house 24/7?

Microsoft try to do that with their Kinect 2.0 in Xbox One. It failed spectacularly because of the massive boycott and protests. Google will try to do that. They just buy Nest Labs, you know, the company that makes smart thermostat that monior your house 24/7 and send the data to the internet. No one protests so far (How can they protest?). That's only make argument #1 even scarier.

4) Has any of them buy a military robot company?

Yes, that sounds just like Terminator's Skynet, but that's a fact. Google bought Boston Dynamics, a military robot maker. They are the only tech company not only with the capability to monitor everything, but now with the potential to enforce their control over everyone, including the government.

5) Has any of them build "The Matrix"?
What about Google+? Google screwed-up big time there right? They are far from defeating Facebook, and Youtube users screamed about its intrusion in Youtube right? We actually get it wrong. Google+ is not really geared to defeat Facebook. It is totally geared to create one umbrella online identity. They want to control your online life. In short, I am totally agree with one Guardian article that says Google + is "The Matrix".

So sorry if I just scare you shitless, but hey, better be aware of this danger now! Awareness is the first step in solution right?