Being and Stay Single

Being single is not easy for anybody's social life. You know the routine, friends, relatives, even close families often think that they have the right to order every single people. Like usual, the order is ALWAYS masquerade as questions like "Where is your girl/boyfriend?" or "When will you marry?". You know, questions that were asked in passive-aggressive tone. Most single people will just shut their mouth even though they are pissed by those orders. Not me. I already prepared an elaborate answer that shut the hell up of everyone who dare to give me those "perfectly camouflaged" order.

Middle Spot

Folks, let me remind you of 2 facts:

1) A good relationship is INFINITELY BETTER than being single.

2) A bad relationship is INFINITELY WORSE than being single.

Society remembers the #1, this is one of the reason they keep nagging, demanding that all single people have to have relationship. At the same time, society know perfectly well but ignore or forget #2. This 2 polar opposite facts bring us to the conclusion:

Being single is located IN THE MIDDLE of the happiness curve.

And, what is so bad about being in the middle? I heard "everything have to be in moderation" is today's mantra for happiness? That is not all. This sweet spot in the middle is even sweeter than you thought! Usually that is enough to deter those pesky friends & families, but in case they still insist ...

Calmness is good

There is also the problem that arise from the dynamic nature of a relationship. Some relationship can turn from good to bad in a second. And, it is not only the "bad relationship" that hurts, the downward movement from good to bad is EVEN WORSE! Just ask people who have been through divorce. So, people who stay single by intent, avoid all those dramas. They consciously choose to live in the calmness of the middle spot, without any movement anywhere for awhile. That calmness actually enhances the happiness! The only thing that can disturb that calmness, that sea of tranquility, is the pesky-nagging friends and relatives. 

It is not that all single people must stay single, to defend the "calmness" forever. Single people can also decide to take a risk, and seek for "mr/mrs right" and finally have a good relationship. But it is THEIR decision when and how to do it, not their friends, not their family. And let's speak about family.

Family

Oh, you are their family so you think you have the right to covertly order them? You LOVE to give them a lot of "between the lines" to be read by anyone in your family that is still single? Let me ask you this question philosophical question: 

IS IT YOUR LIFE OR THEIR LIFE?! 

Ordering anyone to have romantic relationship is easy. Making any relationship works isn't. Unfortunately, those people who give the order are not the one who suffer once the relationship gone sour. Who do you think will receive the shits when they are forced to date or, heaven's forbid, marry someone they don't like only because of social pressure? Not you, not their family, it is THEY WHO SUFFER. 

A sensible strategy

Found this quote from Niall Horan shortly before I finished this
article..He got it right.

What? You said I am too pessimistic? I don't count the potential rewards of a good relationship? Screw that, society already screaming about those rewards ad nauseam with bullhorns. It is time to for me to scream back:

"HELLO, 50% of all marriages have ended in DIVORCE! Thinking about a relationship gone sour before it happens is not pessimistic, it is realistic and rational! Any risk manager will agree with me!"

It is the opposite, people who don't calculate that risk, even after being reminded, are the one who is ignorant, or delusional, or both. 

So, stop worrying! Being single and consciously choosing to stay single is actually a sensible risk-management strategy!


Bonus: The Oatmeal already pointed out similar phenomena about having children